Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Art of Being Genuine comes through being you.

By definition Genuine is authentic, real, free from pretense, and pure in breed. Anyone who knows me knows I would rather be alone than be in a scenario where I am not around genuine people. I believe that people with a sense of self are automatically able to be genuine. These people will be themselves even if it means going against the grain, their closest friends or what others believe while risking being disliked but in return simply by honoring themselves they are genuinely being. Let me start off by saying that I like you am human and I make mistakes too, genuine ones. ;-) When I find myself in a lesson I would rather not be in I genuinely trust that my idea of what God and the universe are know that I need this lesson to grow. After all I am no where near done growing. I hope I grow until the day I go home. By home I mean the one none of us really know where it is but the one I trust with all my heart is there even if I can't see it. "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine de Saint-Exupery

But until that day, which I must admit I hope is far away, I will continue to desire to be surrounded by genuine people. I am a big believer that there is no right or wrong way of doing things that said it still is one life so I'd like to live it surrounded by people who have their own identity, honor their individuality and genuinely are who they say they are. After all I by choice am in a business where people sell an image. My friend Danielle was here this weekend and it was our first time meeting in person after having met online. She confessed that when she first started reading my blog she wondered if I was for real. ;-) I'd love to think that it is something she has answered for herself after spending the weekend with me. I most definitely think that I try as best as I can everyday to make my words be proven true simply by being genuinely me, flaws included. I have been blessed with a gut that will not let me go against it even when it means I "loose". In the long run when the journey of my lesson is over I see that I didn't really loose because it's like Dick Vermeil has been quoted as having said, ""The real test comes when you lose."

These days I must confess I struggle with people's claim of who they are because a lot of the time I am finding actions aren't matching their words. Not that I am asking anyone to be perfect but I am simply saying be genuine because if you are genuine you will be you and you will find that Dr. Seuss was right when he said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” I love my closest friends because they tell it like it is. While some think what I do for non-profits is great and I am a good person they are by no means under a false pretense that I am in anyway living up to what I consider to be one of the grandest illusions of all, perfect. Anyone want to help me start a petition to have the word taken out of the dictionary? ;-) They are genuine people who abide by what feels right to them and our differences make us grow. When I am sad because once again I have met someone in my line of work who has shown me to be, by my experience with them, the opposite of their words my friends genuinely hear me out as I am once again left to deal with the after math of having faith in people being genuine, being their word. I won't ever give up that faith!! I do hope that people stop hurting themselves by trying to live up to the images people create of them and simply be even at the risk of being disliked.

At the end of the day for me it is of utmost importance that I trust myself, be my own bestfriend, and trust my gut when it tells me something isn't genuine even if it means that I have to let go of a dream or have to face the fact that someone is the opposite of who they said they were, and most of all forgive myself. Why you ask? For having an opinion based on my interactions with them and gut feeling. I really give myself a hard time about that sometimes, like I have in the last twenty-four hours, but at the end of the day I am grateful my gut sounds the alarm when it knows something isn't what it claims to be and cautions me to proceed carefully even if the rest of the world has bought into it being something it isn't. I can't follow anything or anyone other than my own gut because God is my compass & that enables me to trust that I am being guided to exactly what is best for me! Again even if it means leaving behind what I wish was for what is...simply GENUINE. I'm not afraid of not being liked because trust me I can name at least five people who I know of who don't like me including the cast member who yelled at me backstage last year an hour before curtain because I stood up for myself and for what I believe in, which she in return believed disrespected her and yelled at me to apologize. I calmly declined to and stood firmly in my belief because like Jefferson said, In matters of style swim with the current; in matters of principle stand like a rock. I will be standing firmly in the principle that if you claim you are something or a certain way through your words that they become your actions. As I have always said, Show me don't tell me and I'll add what one of my most genuine friends, Jen Marie says "when people show you who they are believe them." I believe she is quoting Maya Angelou.

I will leave you with this song and quote. If you made it this far I hope you can make it through this brillant song which I use to exit the stage after I finish my monologue in The Art of Being at exactly 3:18. Listen to what she says because yes I am scared as hell but I trust that being genuine will lead me to that something better she sings about and I believe I am my worst enemy when I listen to anyone but me and my gut. Think about this quote which I hope inspires you to follow your inner compass and guides you to authencity because no matter what anyone claims to be in the end in my view of the world, you can cheat others, even yourself but you can't cheat God and the universe...it knows your intent and in the end you only cheat yourself. “There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” Howard Thurman

THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED HERE ARE SIMPLY OF ONE WOMAN AND HER JOURNEY SO PLEASE TAKE WHAT YOU LIKE AND LEAVE THE REST BEHIND.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Their dream is clean water. My dream is to make their dream a reality.

I would like to ask you to please think about something. What is your biggest wildest dream? Thinking about it? Wouldn't it be amazing if you could live it? I have been blessed to have the courage and faith to weather the storms life's challenges bring and make my way through them to the other side where my dreams have become my reality. I might add when my dreams become my reality they are far beyond what I ever expected. Now think about this. There are children somewhere in this world as I type this who wouldn't dare dream of the kind of dreams you and I have. They simply dream of having clean drinking water. They woke today having a much simpler dream than you and I yet somehow it seems more impossible for them to achieve drinking clean water than it is for you or me to live our dreams like I did when I walked the red carpet in Rome next to one of my favorite authors after adapting his work. As I type that I can't help but think something is so off balance in this world.

I am not saying you and I should stop our lives, stop trying to make our dreams a reality and solely do for others. But wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to do both? I believe I am being guided to do just that. As I took my hike early this morning looked at my surroundings and the place that I was able to be walking in after waking this morning I found the courage to keep up the good fight. A fight that is proving quite challenging these days. I have to say I believe everything happens for a reason but by no means does that mean that what happens is easy to handle, however it is what it is. As I produce a fundraiser as part of the UNICEF Tap Project Los Angeles team which provides children in underdeveloped countries clean drinking water I am constantly being put in scenarios daily that are teaching me yet again patience, trust, courage, and making my faith grow tremendously. I once heard that when you ask for patience, faith, etc. you aren't just handed them you are put scenarios which help you become them, acquire those traits. It stayed with me forever because I have proven that to be true over and over in every journey God guides me to. While things are proving challenging right now great things are also happening. It is honestly 50/50. I feel like it has to balance itself out because if it didn't and all went well all the time I wouldn't know faith and if it was always hard I'd be discouraged to continue.

This is what I think of when people I am working with on the fundraiser and Tap Project in general don't follow through on promises, return my calls, emails, texts and whose responses are dependent on me moving forward. I think of this and only this.
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My goal is to get these children funds so we can provide them with clean drinking water. A six month volunteer position I took on knowing exactly what it entailed. So when challenges arise I focus on the children because I can't expect people to be me or handle business like me. That expectation is simply a great way to frustate myself and hold resentment because as they say an expectation is a premediated resentment. Things have been proving a bit difficult as of late but anyone who truly knows me knows that I know exactly what this means. You see I feel like I am on a ship and the waters are getting really rough, icebergs are appearing, fog is blocking my view and all this as the shore is not far away at all, aka UNICEF World Water Week is a month away as is the benefit concert. ;-) All this happening makes me realize what I've lived through before, something phenomenal is about to happen. The balance is about to be restored and while my tired body and mind want to just rest, my soul, whose been around the block a few times, knows just what to do. It rest assures my weak body and mind that the END is almost near. Yes that ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION is near and I will get to the shore having passed the icebergs while not seeing clearly through the fog but trusting with every ounce of my being that I being guided and all is as it should be.

I gathered all my strength again while on my hike this morning as I encountered Bob Guiney whose band, Band from TV, I tried to get for our fundraiser. We chatted and I mentioned our need for a Global Water Crisis speaker for the event and he mentioned someone who he knows who he thought would be good and we had actually been trying to get her. Yes yet again I heard God speak in this universe so clearly reasurring me of its existence, saw that timing is everything, and that what comes next I have no control over. What I can control is what I do to try to make these children's dreams a reality. I am doing it. The more I think about all I have lived the more I feel it is my responsibility to help/contribute to restoring the balance of this wonderful planet in this magnificient universe so these children can get beyond the dream of clean water to the dream you and I are living by simply being able to have a computer to read this on right now. I want to help them believe that infinite possibilities are born of faith. That life while it can be challenging is a beautiful beautiful thing!!

While I went to the edge of the cliff I go to on my hikes to converse with God I asked for one thing. I said God this morning I am weak and tired from all I am facing please let me hear you. I hit shuffle on my ipod and smiled as a song about life on life's terms came on. Timing. Brett Dennen was one of the people I approached about the UNICEF fundraiser and whose music I believe lines up with UNICEF'S beliefs. I smiled and clinged onto the lyrics, "love will come set me free. I do believe!" Yes it is setting me free!


I have Winston Churchill to thank for reminding me to "Never Never Never give up." Most of all I have God and the universe to thank for making me someone who doesn't know how to give up. I believe life is too short to not experience every single part of what it entails to be human including the not so great stuff. I will continue to dream, believe and work hard to see the dreams of others and myself become our reality. Not only will I continue on this ship and see it through to shore, I trust that God and the universe are brewing something magical! Stayed tuned I guarantee you it's about to get real good and if you don't stay tuned you'll miss out on the miracle! Afterall William Ward's words reaffirm what my journey is teaching me, "Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records."

Dear children of the world I promise you we will balance this world out and you will see your dreams become your reality! My dream is to make your dream a reality and I will stop at nothing to get you your basic human right and then some! This is how my journey began and it is no where near where my journey will end! AS they say in Queen Elizabeth the Golden Age, "When the storm breaks some are dumb with terror and some spread their wings and soar." It's time to soar and the winds of change are turning in our favor to faciliate it!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Art of Love

It's here, what some consider the big LOVE day. I wish I could say I do but the truth is I believe LOVE is all around all the time and while one day to celebrate it is a lovely thing so is recognizing it, embracing, and accepting it year round. We are all worthy of it and if we open our eyes and take a good look around we'll find that LOVE as cheesy as it may sound, truly is all around and can be found in many forms.

Today I wish I was going to see Zoey so I could tell her how much I love her. Although I am certain I show her all the time as best as I can. She is a twelve year old who is still figuring out her way through life and love thinking that it is so important to have a boyfriend. I see her struggle through this right now and the pressure of being an almost teenager with peers who succumb to the same pressures. I am well aware that all I can do is hold her hand through it and lead by example so I don't take from her journey and its lessons. Easier said than done but I know its best to allow her to be where she is in life. I trust we are both being love to eachother and filling a part of our life's that needed to be filled with a certain kind of love and a special bond. Most of all I am so grateful for the biggest lesson she has taught me. Through our bond I've learned that whether we realize it or not a parent's love is unconditional. It may not be on our terms but it is.

She is in a phase where her friends now come first and I am second. It happened almost overnight. I came back from Christmas and the girl who you might have seen in our Christmas card was no longer there. I now have a somewhat more outspoken, braid extension wearing, struggling to find her identity almost teenager who is beginning to be too cool for Adriana. Friends are now a priority as are boys. It is now that I see clearly how much all seven of us kids must have hurt my mom. She would constantly say to us you will understand when you have your own children. I get it mom I finally do! While Zoey is not mine it is as if she is because sadly her mom is no longer with us so I feel more like a mom than a big sister. I love her no matter what. This kind of love has caught me by absolute surprise because I was expecting to feel something like this when I hold my children for the first time. I've learned that being a mom and experiencing that love can come in a completely different way than you expected. It is a love so grand there are no words for it. She can put me on the back burner and I will still love her because love is growing with someone and holding their hand through the growth.

Dear Mom I am truly sorry for all those times I thought I was too cool for you. I look at pictures like this and think wow she was so beautiful and guiding me towards what eventually became my career because she wanted the best for me and yet at twelve I felt too cool for her and quit ballet to prove my point only to end up being the only one to suffer from that pre teen decision. Here we are in the first musical I ever did, Woman of the Year, I am holding on to her black ballet skirt.
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The love I have learned of from having Zoey in my life has taught me to appreciate my mom more and while I would hope she knows this any day today I will tell her once again what I do after I've had a rough day with Zoey, thank you. Simply thank you.

I feel like there are so many kinds of love to celebrate today. The one for your partner, friends, family, those you don't know, and most of all the love of gratitude for being alive! While I believe love is an accessible emotion because we are born being LOVE I also see how sadly some people's challenges in life and experiences have closed their hearts for fear of getting hurt. In my short yet poignant experiences in which I grow more and more aware as time goes by of the importance of love I have come to realize that while getting our heart broken by anyone hurts keeping it closed to the endless possibilities of receiving LOVE again hurts even more and you miss out on this magical beautiful thing called LOVE.

No matter what this day is labeled I have immense gratitude for it and for a lot of people but not just today, always. I see love all around me. I truly do. I was blessed with an early text by my friend Mary Queen in which she proclaimed Happy Valentine's Day followed by a voicemail from my sister saying, "put down the incense and stop talking to the universe for a minute and pick up the phone. Happy Valentines Day." It made me smile because that is how she shows her love to me. She actually knows what I am doing except I haven't made my hike just yet because I am typing this but I am going shortly. And Mercedes I don't light incense when I hike.
I will choose to continue to see see love all day long. It's hard not too because amazing beauty that awaits me at Runyon and my the friends who I will see at Yoga followed by tea with them and an evening with one of my closest friends Jake laughing at one of my other closest friends Eric. Oh and we have to laugh at Eric, it's mandatory since it's a comedy show.

However constantly on my mind today are all those who have no one to be with or proclaim any form of love to on this media/advertiser marketed day. I said a prayer for everyone who feels lonely or is actually alone. This day can be so overwhelming but there are so many ways to show love. It doesn't have to be just between you and a partner. You can give and receive love in so many ways. One of my favorites is showing love for people you may never meet through donating your love by being of service. A great way to find what works for you is by visiting http://www.volunteermatch.org/
and trust me you'll find people to love instantly after you read amazing stories of how they are being love expecting nothing in return.

However to me the grandest love affair you will ever have is the one with yourself. Loving yourself allows you to share the love with others, believe in yourself, not settle, have patience, and grow in faith which will allow you to actually live the endless possibilities that we hear talked about being born of that faith. You will LIVE them and while some will call you lucky all I can see is a person in love with themselves just as they are willing to surrender control of what society says you should be or where you should be all to master the Art of Love. We may not be able to control what society sells to us but we can choose to not abide by it. May your heart be open to all the beauty that God and the Universe have to offer. May this day and everyday remind you that love can not be bought, love simply is. Open every part of your being and look around while having faith and you will be mesmerized by what your eyes will see.

I've learned that no matter what life throws at me or who throws their anger/hurt at me, the best way to for me to attract LOVE is to be LOVE. After learning to love myself just as I am I was compelled to share the idea of acceptance of what is and not what we are told should be with the world, as you will be below. So God thank you for giving me the courage to love myself and love my brothers and sisters and for everyone who you have conspired to send my way who has taught me to love myself and others more. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul for all the great teachers! God, you've taught me that "Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." I LOVE YOU JUST AS YOU ARE,WHOEVER YOU ARE THAT CAME ACROSS THIS BLOG JUST AT THIS VERY MOMENT! HAPPY LOVE YOURSELF, EVERYONE, AND EVERYTHING DAY!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The blessings of an Unforgettable LOVE.

It's funny to watch the world go crazy for LOVE this week. My hope is that the world would go crazy for LOVE year around after all LOVE makes the world go round. No matter what kind of love it is, from my mom or my sister or my friends, I am always grateful to receive it! However in this media driven world they seem to advertise only ONE LOVE. The one between a couple. Sadly this kind of advertising makes some people so lonely this time of year. Not I for life has taught me a few things. One being that no love is ever going to be able to accomplish what love for oneself can. It is that kind of love that allows you to have the courage to not put yourself in a relationship because of a society given deadline, because the loneliness is too much or worse yet because you need a financial partner in crime. I have that partner and if you know me you know me well enough to know I prefer to partner with God, in everything I do actually.

This is not to say that I don't long to be in a relationship because I do. Although this time of year reminds me that yet again I am not it has also sparked immense gratitude for all I have lived in the love department. It turns out that the one man I remember the most and am grateful for the most is the one the universe thought was not a good idea we end up together. It's funny this soul mate thing. A thing I happen to believe in and also a thing I believe doesn't necessarily mean there is only one in this lifetime or that you will end up with them. I am starting to realize as time goes by and I live more that there can be more than one and that the one who I can respect the most and grow with the most is the one I long to be with. The one who will respect me and allow me to grow to by encouraging me, which is why one man comes to mind right now.

It is not the man who broke up with me two days before Valentine's cancelling our Santa Barbara trip two years ago and catapulting me into the most magical adventure ever with Paulo Coelho
. Nope not him. Actually I was confessing to a friend the other day how I felt bad that when I think of him I feel nothing and she reminded me that him and I were worlds apart and it was always apparent. Then I recalled that when I went to produce my film he was very discouraging and suggested I hire someone to produce it because I couldn't do it. Then I recalled how the last time I saw him he told me my beliefs worried him and he tried to belittle me. I say tried because obviously his view of the world and me do not define me, I define me. All of this is not because he is a bad man, it's because he's an insecure man acting out of fear and he needs love so till this day I turn him over to God and ask that he find the love he needs to be able to love others without trying to stun their growth. However because of where he was in life when we were together I don't feel for him the way I do for the one man I will always remember. We all have those. Someone who left such a beautiful impact in my heart of our friendship that you want to remember it.

Well I can honestly say I don't think of him much these days because after two beautiful years of a friendship in which he told me a little too late for my taste that he had a girlfriend things ended not so great. As we all know sometimes human emotions can overtake us and make us say things we don't mean. We ended our friendship with what I hope were words neither one of us meant. At least I know I didn't. Recently he wrote me requesting that I not use his name in my blog. He told me I could write anything I wanted but to please not use his name. My ego was amused and wanted to write back, "thanks for your permission but I know I can write whatever I want", luckily my soul/essence/true being wrote back and apologized for I had sincerely not realized I used his name or that his significant other referred to him as Estupido as well. I am kidding. I have to joke it's who I am. ;-) I then proceeded to look for his name in my blog and delete it. I had used it and I honestly did feel bad. The irony was I hadn't said anything bad but either way I respected his desire to remain unknown and still do which why I will refer to him as Peter Pan. Here we are the day we met on the set. As you can see I got him to fall for me with my magical powers. He said not to mention his name but he didn't say not to post pictures.

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Okay all jokes aside here is why Peter Pan will forever hold a place in my heart. Without getting too personal I will tell you that my dad left when I was seven and I went on to choose men who would leave and of course I would create scenarios for them to leave. It was familiar and what I knew. After all we are what we know and we do as we see. After four years of therapy I realized things could be so different. That I had choices and that I could choose well if I realized what I deserved. Getting to a place where I realized what I deserved was and is a long road but trust me when you reach the destination you will be glad you didn't take any short cuts. You will have learned how to be love to yourself. Peter Pan was the first man I met after learning all this and he definitely was the first man to believe in me and my work. He not only told me, he showed me by coming to see the debut of my first production ever. We had a connection unlike any other I had ever known. Allies in a crazy business. For that no matter what anyone thinks I will always be grateful. He taught me of the possibilities and of what I deserve. He showed me for the first time in my life what it is like to be heard and seen.

Most would think I would be bitter I didn't get to have that permanently but I am not. I am thrilled I got to know that kind of love. Most of all I work with one sole partner in crime who I know holds my best interest at heart always, God. I am certain God's plan for me and my future family is far more extraordinary than I can imagine and what I have lived thus far. In my humble opinion based on observation of my life, it simply gets better every time after every lesson. Not only LOVE but everything I do becomes more powerful and more magical. So Peter Pan showed me the way as best as he could as long as he was meant to and left me with the understanding that I am worthy of man who longs to be with me, takes me just as I am, supports me, and allows me to grow even if he doesn't understand. Most of all he taught me to believe that unconditional love is possible therefore he is an unforgettable love.

So this week as you are bombarded with images of what you should have to be in love remember things don't represent LOVE. On the contrary if someone can stand with you in the midst of the flames the fire of the challenges of life produce and come out on the other side still holding your hand than count yourself blessed because you know LOVE. No matter who that person is. Recently I have been reminded the importance of feeling the LOVE from my mother through a lesson I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (although I don't have one) but realized I needed that lesson to know that LOVE. I feel like LOVE can come in so many ways. Through eye contact with a complete stranger that sends chills up your spine, words that came at the exact moment you needed to hear them from someone who had no knowledge of your need, a stunning sunset, a child's smile, a baby's laugh, a flower's beauty and smell, a friend's shoulder to lean on, and you taking the time out of your life to read this. To me that is LOVE.

LOVE truly is all around if you open every part of your being you will feel it, see it, and welcome it. I've learned that to allow it in I must first love myself unconditionally as best as I can. Most of all I've learned that LOVE, true unconditional LOVE is FORGIVENESS not only for others but most of all for YOURSELF. Happy love yourself day and let's make it a happy love yourself year! And remember if a love you know is coming to an END it is simply an opportunity for an ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION, A NEW BEGINNING. I LOVE YOU MERCEDES GARZA AND WELCOME YOUR NEW BEGINNING!!!