It's here, it's here! The day my dream becomes my reality!

Monday was World Water Day and I really wanted to blog then since this whole project I've been growing through for the past six months is all about clean water. The Tap Project provides children in underdeveloped countries clean water. Each year the recipients are chosen based on need, so glad that is not my job! ;-) I can not believe the day has finally arrived! It has been six months in the making and it is finally here! The day I get my Millions ending. ;-) This is the artwork for the benefit I have been producing.


I am tired to say the least. If you have been following my blog you know its been quite the journey from changing venues two weeks prior to the show to changing the date to accommodate the prior venue. The list is endless. I have grown in so many ways in the past few months. I've proven to myself yet again of what I can accomplish when I follow the signs. It's how I believe God communicates with me. By sending me signs that will guide me to a path that is best for me and my journey. One thing I must make clear is that as much as it chooses me I have to be willing to choose it. What I mean is when the sign came that was leading me to work with UNICEF for six months free of charge I could have said thanks but no thanks. I don't have to follow the signs. I choose to.

Why you may ask? You'd have to be me to fully grasp that but it has a lot to do with knowing that when I do my journey takes me to a magical place, a place which dreams are made of because I am truly following my heart and passion! I've taken the road where I control everything and know where I am headed. While I have known exactly what I am driving towards I haven't really lived anything beyond the known, obviously. I prefer to navigate the unknown these days which means I risk a lot but I believe in order to reap a lot you have to risk a lot! This UNICEF journey has taught me one huge lesson! A lot of people would like to be there to reap the rewards but have little desire in keeping the soil fertile or tending to their garden once they have planted it. I have had to work with a lot of people and a lot of personalities and it has been quite the journey full of amazing teachers. The most constant ones were teachers of patience.

As I think back on the past few months I think of everything I made my way through and one thing comes to mind when I think of how I made it to today. After all I had no paycheck at the end of my rainbow but I had the children. It was and will always be about the children for me. As thankful as I am for everyone who has been a part of making this happen this without a doubt from day one has been about the children for me. Trust me otherwise there would have been no point. I had a lot of people pulling me in all directions, requesting a lot from me, and then there were those whose mere lack of interest overall made my job harder by their lack of responses etc. I had people who had to report to me and people I had to report to in order for things to get done. Did it always work out smoothly, nope, and it was then that I would close my eyes and see this.


I am not complaining simply explaining what producing entails. Producing independently on extremely tight budgets is something I have been doing for fours years and counting. I pride myself in my ability to bring together amazing sponsors talent, etc. People ask me how I am able to secure what I do. The answer to that is simple. It's because of what I stand for or am standing behind. Humanity, UNICEF, creativity that inspires others to accept themselves. Nothing in the end benefits solely me. I work for you and me and I don't have to know you. I was born with something instilled in me, a conscious. ;-) You have it too but time and life on life's terms can take it from you. I am not by any means perfect, not even close- don't even believe in perfection but I do pay attention to life and learn from each journey and the lesson it brings.

I get quite clearly how quickly life can change. I believe change is the only constant thing so I live by one rule and one rule only, FOLLOW YOUR PASSION! Life is too damn short for anything else. I wish I could tell you so many things I have risked recently and how deep in faith I have to be right now to move forward everyday but that will come in due time. After all timing is everything. You can't pull a butterfly from its cocoon too early or its wings won't spread. In due time this butterfly will blog about her six month metamorphosis in detail.

Last night today's excitement kept me up. An event six months in the making is here!!! Thanks to ALL OUR efforts the children of Haiti, Togo, Central African Republic, Vietnam, and Guatemala will taste clean water. As I write that as proud as I am I will remain dumbfounded that it took all this to allow that to happen for them therefore making it a privilege. It should not be and therefore I vow to continue to raise awareness about the Global Water Crisis. This for me is just the beginning and one day as a someday UNICEF Ambassador I will be somewhere rejoicing with the children as they receive water from the pump for the first time.


I want to leave you with this thought, "A small group of thoughtful people can change the world indeed it is the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead. I used post this in my cast's itinerary when we toured with our play. Today as my dream becomes my reality I think of everyone who has stood beside me and lent a helping hand as I made my way through the unknown this journey took me on. People who were of service to me simply be listening when the challenges had me down or by being able to actually contribute to the event. My dream stays just a dream if angels aren't sent to me during my journey from dream to reality to help facilitate it. They deserve more than a name mention but for now that is what I can offer.

Today is a reality because of these people! My mom Mercedes Ferguson who finally let go of trying to understand why I would risk so much and just let me. My brothers and sisters especially Meche. The talent who came on board when this concert was a seed that had not blossomed- Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E, The Makepeace Brothers, Gaby Moreno, and Alysse Fischer as well as their management teams. My amazing friend Jake who lent me Gaby and did not make me pay. ;-) Chris Carmena of Amoeba Music who always immediately gets the store to stand behind my work! My colleagues are amazing people who for SIX months did not get a dime - even out of pocketed expenses- to meet twice a week and prepare for World Water Week and our benefit! Nina, Ruby, Justin and Sarah I am going to miss you!! More than you will miss me saying "the universe will conspire." ;-) My friends Philly, Denah, Mary Queen, Danielle, Danielle R. Bev, Shari, Shanna, Gabriela, Leah, Andi,Rosie, Peace Love Kim, Sarah F., Kris, Jessie P., Silke, Josefa, Luis, and many others have in one way or another helped out by listening, reposting my post, posting their own, etc.!! Jason Mraz for posting a UNICEF Tap Project blog
today. GLAMOUR magazine who also gets behind what I do. This time by placing ads like this one!


Most of all the people who started me on this journey. Alejandro Ortiz and Gil Arevalo of Cassanova Pendrill who not only thought me able to carry their concept of an amazing UNICEF commercial through but have become amazing friends and supporters of my journey! THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE TO ENABLE ME TO FOLLOW MY HEART! Take a look at the commercial they cast me in which a year later is still going strong airing nationally and still picking up awards like it did this past Saturday at the Caribe Festival in Panama.
May your dreams become your reality too and I hope that in the process they make our beautiful planet a better place! See you tonight. You can still get tickets even if you can't attend, UNICEF still receives your donation and we could use it! UNICEF Los Angeles 3-24-10 Benefit concert tickets

Being good and angry. Inspiration from the most unlikely of places.

I can't believe an event that has been six months in the making is officially one week away. In one week I will get my Millions
, Danny Boyle film, ending.
The road there has been most interesting. Last night it found me thinking of what my therapist used to tell me, "Adriana you can be good and angry." To which I would think, "I am good and angry." As time passed I realized what she was saying was you can be a GOOD person and be ANGRY. You see I struggle with anger or any negative emotion because well its negative energy but being that I am a soul living a human experience things aren't necessarily black and white.

Most of my post on here are usually insights to what it takes to make a dream come true carrying with them mostly antidotes of overcoming obstacles to see my dreams become a reality in hopes of inspiring you the reader to never never never give up! Just reidiriating Winston Churchill's words. What is interesting about those words is that a lot of things, circumstances, and people can make you forget them if you allow them to. Last night I found inspiration to soldier on in the most unlikely of places...in anger.

I would say that's not an emotion I often go around carrying because I know what we carry within spills over into our daily interactions with others. So why carry that? It doesn't mean I don't get angry it simply means I deal with it and let it go as best as I can. As I sat in a room full of people I heard words come from someone's mouth about rank and how someone shouldn't get something because they weren't high up on that person's ranking ladder of society and LA imposed stature. That is the one sure fire way to trigger anger in me. While I don't believe everyone has to believe like me I can honestly say believing in rank or society imposed status is far from something I believe in. I tried to keep my cool but as that person kept playing that card and had someone else back them with the same card well I lost it. By loosing it I mean I spoke up simply by uttering the words, "we are talking about a human being here."

And breathe!!!! It was then that I realized my teachers continue to be all around. Most of my teachers these days consist of patience for others beliefs. While I am huge on the belief that we must all honor what feel inside and let it be our art of being I don't want that to be confused with being okay with having people impose their LA nurtured, society driven beliefs on me. Especially pulling the rank card and forgetting that we are talking about human beings no matter their stature in their line of work. In my world we aren't defined by our wallets, gender, or possessions simply by the character we choose to develop with those things which we were given and had no choice in picking.

I was angry and dealt with it as best as I could and most of all drew inspiration from it to continue to work towards what feels right to me putting positive energy into my life. In researching equality online I came across some pretty frightening statements about how it doesn't exist. Frightening only because if your soil isn't well tended to and you allow any seed to be planted in it and worse you water it than you might actually buy yourself a life with beliefs that don't remotely resemble your truest self simply because you didn't tend to your soil. My only hope is that the people who uttered these words about others not being deserving because they aren't high up on their rank ladder where simply speaking words from seeds that made their way into their soil when they weren't tending to it. Regardless if that is truly what they whole heartedly believe, that others aren't deserving of what a celebrity is, than I have this to say to them. "Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an EQUAL right to it."

Diane Sawyer has been quoted as saying that and I say it to the people whose words made me angry because once the anger has passed I can see clearly. What I see today are people who don't consider themselves equal and therefore apply that belief to others. It truly had nothing to do with anyone but them. To them, to you, to myself and to anyone I say that Martha Graham was very wise when she said, "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one you in all of time, the expression is unique. And if YOU block it, it will never exist through any other medium and WILL BE LOST."

Don't let anyone's beliefs become yours unless you really want them to. Tend to your garden and remember you are here just one time around, this is no dress rehearsal, and in my view of the world the fact that we are in this together trying everyday as best as we can to LIVE and GROW our way through this gift called LIFE makes you my equal. Based on that belief I invite you to join us in helping our brothers and sisters share the same human right, clean water, by attending the UNICEF TAP PROJECT BENEFIT CONCERT MARCH 24th at THE ROXY ON SUNSET!


Check out a preview of our amazingly talented line up! See you on the 24th!

The evening's host, Comedian Eric Schwartz aka Smooth-E



Alysse Fischer


Gaby Moreno


The Makepeace Brothers

Fourteen years in five minutes, my Latina History Day Speech and its inspiration.

I was asked to be a guest speaker at the 19th Annual Latina History Day Event in Los Angeles. I was honored and delighted to be a part of the luncheon titled, "Latinas Impacting the World."


I have to say that in order for me to be a part of such an amazing event a lot of Latinas came before me and made it possible. While Josefa Salinas made my participation possible my mom made my endurance of this industry and its journey possible by mere example.

Mercedes Cortazar Ferguson raised seven kids as a single mother until I the youngest was twelve. It was then, much to my dismay back then, that she married my step dad. Since I was the youngest I absorbed everything like a sponge. It was not until I started my own indie production company that was able to somewhat understand and grasp what my mom must have gone through. She was in a country that was not her country of origin trying as best as she could to make sure all of us where fed, clothed, and received an education all while she ran her own business. A flower shop appropriately titled Mercedes Creative Designs. I take my hat off to her because I have no children I need to feed and I face a lot of challenges. Quite honestly sometimes I can't believe what I have to endure but knowing what she had to endure really puts things in perspective. I am blessed to be the daughter of a warrior who by mere example passed it on to me.

Here I am with my mom after some sort of production. I can tell by the hair and make up. ;-)

Here I am with my mom and a three of my six siblings celebrating Mercedes' birthday. I can see why the called me Dumbo. Yes that's me on the far right.


She is one of my many inspirations. While the distance only allows her to see most of my accomplishments by internet I have no doubt she is proud. At Christmas she read all the Italian Magazines I had been in due to being chosen as the image for Paulo Coelho's The Experimental Witch and told me how proud she was of all I had been able to accomplish and of my faith. She has seen firsthand what I've had to endure to live that moment and while as a mom she wished she could have helped me skip some of the lessons it brought, I at the end of the day I'm glad and grateful for everything I've gone through.

While I am not defined by labels anyone tries to put on me to try and justify what they believe I should be based on stereotypes society has created to help us understand things that sometimes aren't meant to be understood, I am still very proud to be LATINA because while it is part of what I am it is not entirely WHO I am. Who I am goes beyond anything that any label could try and explain. I am above all a child of God who believes life is too short to believe you can't do things because you are considered a minority. That is simply not what I see when I look in the mirror and I hope you don't either. Most of all when you see me I hope you see yourself in me and in the process realize that anything is possible! After all I am just a girl from Mexico and Texas who refuses to believe that anything is impossible when you follow your passion and do the hard work.

I read this quote and it spoke directly to me and what I believe. “Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly.” Epictetus - I know who I am. I know I define me therefore I know that I can be smart, accomplished, and girlie for I was born a woman and I will not deny myself the fun that comes with that simply because others want me to believe this is a man's world. In my view of the world, this is OUR world! Man, woman, child, teenager, baby- it belongs to all of us and no one is superior to anyone! We can all together be of service to eachother by being a teacher or a student depending on the lesson but most of all by simply BEING who we are. When you know who you are what anyone else tries to make you with their words and labels has no effect on you. Dare to be you! You were born to do just that! Thank you everyone at HOPE and Latina History Day for allowing me to share my story!

Below is the video of my speech. Sadly it got cut off as I was finishing so below the video is the actual speech. Follow your heart and passion and expect the unexpected and I guarantee you you'll be pleasantly suprised as to where the road will lead you as long as you endure its challenges.

Latina History Day Speech
In 2006 after being in Los Angeles for ten years as a working actor I realized my struggles with the industry had led me to open my eyes to what it was I truly wanted out of my career and life. Those years made me realize how much the stereotypes in my industry went against what I truly wanted to put out into the world. The more I opened my eyes to the reality Hollywood had created the more I realized I could create my own and so I did.

In 2006 I opened my independent production company under my name, Adriana Garza Productions. I never knew what was to come and I’m glad I didn’t or I wouldn’t be standing here before you today. It has been an extremely challenging road whose challenges seem small in comparison to its rewards. I have grown in every trait I always desired from faith to courage but most of all I have given voice to the dreams in my heart. Dreams others including people in my industry often tried to discourage me from pursuing. However I knew and trusted I could make them come true if I listened to what my inner voice was telling me and allowed it to guide me.

My gut knew I didn’t want to spend my life working or auditioning for roles that would end up contributing to the Hollywood stereo type of what it means to be a Latina Woman. I decided to define what it entails to be a Latina woman on my own terms. So that same year I conceived, produced, directed, and performed in The Art of Being. The Art of Being was a play about humanity and all it entails to be human and the diversity of the human race. I went on to be the first Latina to win the 2006 Toyota Moving Forward Award presented by GLAMOUR magazine for being the driving force behind the play. I won from over 2,500 women nationwide. It was then that I realized I was right in following my heart and I continued down the path this new door had put before me.

I went on to tour with the play and donated its proceeds to a different art related non-profit organization in each city because I wanted to give back after all I had been given. Did I mention my award came with a car? This new beautiful reality God and life had bestowed upon me after guiding me to follow my heart made may want to give back and continue to move forward. My next project, a short film, was for Paulo Coelho’s, author of The Alchemist, International Film Competition based on his novel The Witch of Portobello. My film went on to win Paulo Coelho’s The Experimental Witch International Film Competition from over 6000 International entries. By doing so it became a part of the final film, which premiered at the Rome Film Festival this past October. The premiere allowed me to walk the red carpet for the first time in my life not only for work I had produced but also next to an author whose work I had admired for over ten years. All this prompted Latin Star Magazine to name me the Latin Star to watch in late 2009.

That same year I was also cast in the UNICEF Tap Project Desperate commercial, which you saw. It went on to be a one of ten finalist from over 4000 International entries at the Cannes Lion Awards in Cannes in 2009 and has gone on to win several awards for helping raise awareness of the Global Water Crisis. After the beauty both projects brought into my life in 2009 I decided to come back behind the scenes for the 2010 UNICEF Tap Project campaign by producing the benefit concert. It is taking place March 24th at the Roxy on Sunset. It has been an extremely challenging road for the past six months with everything from last minute venue changes to loss of donations due to date change. There has not been one day when this production hasn’t required that I face the day with all the passion I hold in my heart for equality. Water is a basic human right which 900 million people don’t have everyday and because of this 24,000 children die everyday from preventable causes, which means a child every 20 seconds. Simply hearing those words uttered makes me realize I was right in taking on this challenge which some thought me crazy for doing since I donated my producing services as a volunteer.

But through my eyes and view of the world I see how blessed we all are and feel that it is our responsibility as human beings on this planet to not only take care of it but of each other. Taking on that responsibility is a choice I make simply because I can not stand on the sidelines and watch someone be denied a basic human right. I am honored to be here today to share my story with you and I am grateful for your listening ears. If you take anything away from what I have said I hope it is the knowledge that with a lot of passion and hard work nothing is impossible and that the only thing we should fear is fear itself. Thank you for your time.

Growing in faith the only way I know how, through the unknown.

To say that I am exhausted is an understatement! As my dream comes closer to becoming my reality the workload is growing. I know some friends are wondering if they still have a friend but I know my closest friends know that everything is fine and I am simply working my way through the unknown to make my dream a reality. It has been a tough couple of weeks to say the least and when I awoke this morning and saw the quote below on my daily calendar well as usual I saw God communicating with me as I believe God does, through signs.

I needed this sign so badly because I have had to give up everything I had known to be for the unknown more than ever in these past two weeks of this six month journey of producing the UNICEF Tap Project Benefit.
. This journey is one I chose to take on without pay because well it actually chose me. How you ask? I believe I am guided by signs into the what next. Yes the one people always ask about after you have come down from a high that was produced by passion and hard work, like per say the Rome Film Festival. You know it usually goes something like, "WOW you have accomplished so much how can you possibly follow that! So what next?" ;-)

I have come to understand quite clearly that if I am open to receiving the signs then the fear of what will happen next dessipates because I know it is being taken care of. I make it sound easy don't I? It is a far from easy road but one that is so worth it to me because I don't have to go against me, my values, or beliefs when I follow the signs. While like you fear tries to take over me I am able to walk through it into the unknown because of my faith in what I believe. Through my eyes I see a universe that sends me signs to help me communicate with God who knows me better than anyone and knows what is best for me, my journey, and helps me fulfill my purpose. This is the point where people usually ask me if I do drugs to put it bluntly. To answer honestly I never have. Nope, never tried anything and I'm not interested. I don't judge those who do and I desire the same in return, no judging because I don't do them. :-) And don't try to understand me because you won't. Just see me, if you can, as a fellow human being working her way through the unknown in awareness by choice.

One thing I have known since I was young is that I have a passion for humanity. All of it! No matter what and I have been hurt a lot lately by many and disillusioned but the one thing you should know about me is that nothing or no one can strip me of my hard earned faith. They can try and they do but it's a waste of time. I am blessed to be so certain in what I believe that even finding out that people I admire aren't who they sell they are, based on my journey with them, doesn't destroy my faith. Sure it rocks the ship but this ship has weathered many storms at thirty-three and will continue to do so. I may not always see the land while I sail the seas of life but I know it's there. I simply do.

These past two weeks had me in thunderstorms and down pours of broken promises and I was taken for quite the ride which jeopardized the entire UNICEF Tap Project benefit. Did I get off the ship? No, I simply strapped on my life vest and held on for dear life. To put it in words you can understand sadly the venue which we planned to perform at fell extremely short on their promises!! I have never in my career as an independent low budget producer encountered such a situation. I have dealt with companies like Southwest Airlines on smaller budgets than this one for the benefit and never have I had people treat me the way they did in the end. Within a matter of twenty-four hours I found myself back at square one with two weeks to go before the show and tickets already on sale but no matter what things "appeared" like I was about to have my belief that EVERYTHING happens for a reason reaffirmed.

I am a big believer in not bad mouthing people because no matter what they did to you, you trying to ruin them through words only affects you and in the end they do pay for what they did with karma. You know those moments when people ask why is life so cruel to them, that's actually the moment they may want to consider what they may have done to buy themselves that lesson. Just a thought. I mean this for people who have no conscious on how their choices could affect others which is my case. Since November of 2009 a particular venue promised a lot for our fundraiser. On Monday March 8 they backed out of those promises after making me change my benefit date which caused me to loose my talent transportation which was donated.

I am not going to sit here and tell you I was fine. I was a mess! I thought to myself wow people who don't care about others do exist and now I am left without a venue. But I wasn't and I knew that. I just temporarily forgot it. Back in the unknown I made the calls I had to make and within twenty-four hours I had a venue. It is quite unheard of to secure a venue with the same capacity, tickets were already on sale, two weeks before our show but God as usual was on our side. The day I contacted the Roxy they had a date open up, the ONLY one open for the week. One guess on what date it was. ;-) So I was able to tell the crew on the ship that we were going to land a shore safely just as God had promised. "Eywa heard me!" A little Avatar reference. Take a look at one of my favorite songs ever combined with a film I draw so much inspiration from to weather the stormy seas and land ashore on the 24th SOLELY for the children who will benefit from it.


How exactly does this situation reaffirm my belief that everything happens for a reason. Well the Roxy was a venue we had looked at but had to pass on due to it being out of our budget. Isn't interesting that the day I contact them they had the date I needed open up and further more took what I offered which was not what they originally quoted. Did I mention I don't believe in coincidence? Like I told my colleagues Ruby and Justin last night at our meeting, had I called before the moment I did it wouldn't have worked out. I called precisely went I felt the urge (nudge from the universe) to and look at what happened. If we allow life to it will guide us to what is best for us and for what we are trying to accomplish. My work continues to be cut out for me between coordinating the talent, the crew, the venue, the rundown of the show, being prepared to run the show, and well the list is so endless just thinking of it makes me tired. There is so much going on in my personal life too that they day I finally blog about that some may wonder how on earth I kept my faith.

I'll tell you what, for reasons only understood to me, I believe in something magical. Something that allows me to work my way through the unknown because I trust that no matter how many challenges show up in life either through people not BEING their word or situations taking me elsehwere than where I had planned it all still is at it should be so I can GROW in faith the only way I know how, through the unknown. I believe more than anything that it is our responsibilty to not only take care of the planet but eachother. Taking on the responsibility is a choice I make because I believe in justice for all and if I spend all my life working towards what I believe in then I know I am following the signs because who I am is not being sacrificed. I am in the end simply being just like Damien. I met Damien in a movie called Millions where he came to life and through him I felt less alone and understood. If you haven't seen it you must! Spoiler alert! This is my favorite part of the film and it's the end.


While the end is my favorite, part 2:07 is my favorite part of the trailer below.


Two weeks to go until I get my MILLIONS ending. If you see the movie you'll know exactly what I mean. A word to the wise you can try and bring me down, dissapoint me by not being your word, and rock my ship but I won't falter and I will steer this ship a shore. I was guided to do what I am doing and when you follow the path life has laid out for you, while you may struggle at times- life on life's terms, you don't give up because in the end when you get to the end of the road you know you will be greeted by something that exceeds anything you ever dreamt of that only God through the universe's magical powers could have conjured up. So in the words of Queen Elizabeth, "I fear neither you or your Army. I have a hurricane in me that can strip Spain bare if you dare to try me." After all this journey I'm on is for God's children so getting in my way is pointless, God's gonna get me and my crew to where we need to be to do God's work so I wouldn't waste your energy trying to detour us. ;-) See you on the 24th at the UNICEF Tap Project Benefit concert!


*any feeling that you may be the person who dissapointed me is purely coincidental. Unless of course the shoe fits than in my mom's words "wear it" but you won't wear me down. ;-)

Moulin Rouge- an ode to passion.

Upon waking yet again to Moulin Rouge on HBO I took it as a sign that my passion is indeed still alive not only for love but for life, creativity, humanity and a list of endless things. I was curious how passion is defined in the dictionary because I certainly know what it means to me. Here is what I found. Passion is any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate and also a strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor and a strong sexual desire; lust but alas the one I identified with the most- a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

As I watched Moulin Rouge for like the fourth time this week, and as I type this its on again so make that fifth, I was taken into a world full of my favorite thing- a passion for love expressed through creativity. It is such a creative film!! It's interesting to hear people say they either love it or don't get it. I remember like it was yesterday, although it was not and I was 24 so that was nine years ago, that I walked out of the Century City theater thinking, what did I just see? I didn't get it. It took falling passionately for someone whose like Satine's character years later to completely get it because after all people see the world as THEY are not as it is. Yes you read correctly Satine. I therefore am Christian the penniless writer with a passion for love and art. Not that he didn't have a passion for love and art because he did but like Satine he lived in the reality society created for him not his own so I "lost" out to a more conventional love that came with the known security of a steady paycheck. I guess in his world two of us can't be passionate about art. Watching the movie is just a little bit torturous because love wins out in the film and this was my reality where the highest bidder won out. I guess passion and unconditional love sometimes aren't enough...for some. ;-)


However I love to be reminded through art how magical life is and how much we can feel. I have experienced first hand that passion can make extraordinary magical experiences our reality. In the beginning of the film they ask Christian about LOVE to which he replies, "Love? Above all I believe in Love. Love is like oxygen." I couldn't agree more. I've known many kinds of love. Young love which you want to be true love because you want to be in love. Then there's the love I experienced for a man the way you would love a father. Something I assumed since I have not really known my father. So with the only man I almost married I concluded that it was more like fatherly love not the love needed to sustain a marriage. A love of gratitude for his protection of me, something he still does fourteen years after we met. I love to watch him boast, as I can only imagine my father would, of my accomplishments. Lately he's had to step in and defend one of my passions since it is taking place somewhere he is part owner. He has truly been there for me and I still love him...the way I would love my dad. He is my protector. Last but not least in my late twenties I discovered a love that I long to know again with the man I call my husband someday. Love derived from passion for your bestfriend. The kind you see here.

And here even if I can't recall if their eyes are green or blue. I really can't. ;-)


As the magical sitar who only speaks the truth says, "the greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and be loved." And may I add to love unconditionally. I have quite a few married friends and I have heard an array of opinions on what love is but the beauty of life is that we get to define what love means to us. I choose to believe that love is respect and admiration for someone so strong that you passionately want to hold their hand wherever you go, to the highs and to the lows of life, because who they are is what you love. Not who you think they could be or who you wish they were. Simply who they are is more than enough to make you want to be their bestfriend and that is how I know I have finally known love. For a while I was his ally and he was mine. The world didn't seem like a perfect place with him in life but there was something magical about it something very Moulin Rouge. Something very kismet about our paths crossing. Our friendship made me happy. Knowing that there was someone in this vast universe who was proud to stand by me just as proud as I was to stand by him taught me to never forget what love derived from passion is.

Some may think me foolish to hold out for that feeling as the clock is ticking and l am only getting older so what will happen with my dream of becoming a mother and wife? To them I say life is short and I have no guarantees of waking tomorrow so why would I want to close my eyes and lay next to someone just for the sake of being next to someone? I would rather marry older and love passionately than marry on anyone's elses time and terms so I can live wondering what passionate love is. I like Christian will someday know a love again that makes me want to sing under an umbrella while twirling my way to the eiffel tower just like he does. Why? Because I know I deserve to be loved just as I am and he, whoever he is, deserves to be loved just as he is.

Seeing this wonderful film repeatedly in one week has made me grateful I have known a love like Christian and Satines and hopeful that it will exist again someday when the planets align and God through the universe sends me a sign whispering oh so gently it's him, it's time, and your patience has paid off. I believe in a passionate love like the one Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote about in a letter to Sophia Hawthorne, "I never, till now, had a friend who could give me repose; all have disturbed me, and, whether for pleasure or pain, it was still disturbance. But peace overflows from your heart into mine." I long to know that feeling not because we are perfect or complete when we are together but because we are passionate friends who long to see the other succeed proud to stand BY eachother. So I will wait armed with faith and with every part of my being open to the day you arrive come what may. ;-)