My Roman Holiday! A letter of gratitude to all who made it possible!

They say that behind a great man is a woman. Well behind this little lady stood a village of men and women who the universe conspired to bring into my life to be able to see The Experimental Witch, the Samira Chapters, come to life. I recall like it was yesterday that I asked my ex for help because we were trying to stay friends after our break up. He is a music video producer/director and I am certain you have seen his work. It is VERY different than mine. His reply was no and that I should get someone to produce it meaning I shouldn't do it. Huh? Actually it made absolute sense considering he told me while we were together that he couldn't get through The Alchemist and went on to say how bad it was. Red flag anyone? ;-) To this day I believe that had he helped me and directed it I would have come in on a broom in front of a green screen in a super tight outfit with my chest popping out. It would have so contradicted the book. So in the end his no was the perfect answer and the universe knew exactly what it was doing no matter how painful it felt in the moment.

I prayed that all the people that needed to be a part of The Experimental Witch
and could grow from the experience as well please be sent into my life. They began to arrive little by little and it was up to me to trust my gut and go with what I knew, I knew. This way of living doesn't always make sense to people so I didn't argue with anyone about what my gut was telling me I simply said this is the person for the job when others involved in the production weren't so sure. In the end the producer, who finances the project, has the final say so I did but I believe it wasn't me just having the final say it was actually God and the Universe.

I asked my agent at the time, Danielle Valencia, who also teaches acting to cast it with me and I had found a director,Luis Fernandez Reneo
, whose work had inspired me to ask him to bring my project to life. All three of us sat through a lot of casting sessions but there was no doubt in my mind from the moment she opened her mouth that Jessica Ranek
was Samira, The Witch of Portobello's mom. A belief that was being confirmed considering I had known this since I had seen her headshot. I saw it and knew it was her. I even told Danielle but told her I would point her out at the auditions. After her audition it was so obvious but because I had hired people to collaborate with me it had to be a group decision. In the end and after several discussions I stuck to my gut instinct and cast her. The one casting decision that was a given for all of us was Danielle Soibelman
who came in and blew us all away. She was cast as the younger version of my character, The Witch of Portobello. Elan Garfias
as my son was also a dead ringer for the job. We were missing the dad and in the second set of auditions we found Mr. Khalil. I had prayed that morning that God send him our way and so God did. Andrew Qamar's
look, his ability to do the accent, and his professionalism made me smile, at God of course, during his audition. In gratitude I concluded the sessions and had found my cast.

Prior to the casting sessions I had many things I had to do as Producer. Things I was constantly in conversation with God and the Universe about. Even when I was overwhelmed and tired I never doubted that the Universe would conspire to bring all I needed for God had led me to this and would lead me through it. I had asked Kris Pustina-Haldane who was in my play to co-adapt the novel with me and she had agreed. I then began to go after the man I consider to be an AMAZING DP, Neil Lisk
, who turned out to be the best one I have ever worked with! We knew of eachother but had not met. His wife was due to have a baby at the time and one of our mutual friends had assured me he would not do it. I had been told by God otherwise so I continued to go after him. In the end not only did he do my film but out of his own will HE CHOOSE TO NOT CHARGE ME. Moral of this story? Above all always always TRUST YOURSELF no matter what anyone tells you. He made my movie
look like it was shot on film and the first question anyone asks after seeing it is, whose your DP?

Along with Neil I hired the crew via ads. Turns out he's well known in the indie film world and people were dying to be part of his crew. So much so that we got so many talented people on our budget. A very very low budget with a lot of love, passion and of course gratitude for everyone working with me outside their normal pay range. From the ads also came the fabulous Annette Chaisson
who did make up and Ricky Lloyd George
who was the AD. May I add he's is an extremely handsome young man, with all respect to his lovely girlfriend. ;-) My friend Nick Ligonis
was not only the AC but we used his camera. He also guided us to his beautiful wife Maria Honrado who became our editor. So they along with Mickey McMullen, our sound guy, Michael Schilling, our gaffer, John Schmidt, our key grip, Maria, our PA, and MeLeah Robinson, our production coordinator made the film come to life in a very short time frame. We shot 25 minutes in three days!

Prior to them though came what I consider a huge universal conspiracy and a very crucial one. Our film was to take place in Beirut and London. It became very clear I was being led to this when my two closest friends had homes already designed to look like London and Beirut. So you can imagine my immense gratitude when they allowed us the privilege of shooting in their homes. So to my angels Bev Bishop and Sheri Michaels THANK YOU!

London Interior

Beirut Interior

Screening the film for the cast and crew in Bev's backyard aka London
Click here to see casting, on set and screening pictures


In the end this was a labor of love I was passionate about making come to life because of the story of Athena. Like her I long to not only be seen and accepted for who I am but loved unconditonally. Something I know I deserve and will receive when the planets align and my soul mate can sing this song
to me. I know I am not the only creative person who longs to live out their dream without the judgement of others while also realizing that what others think is truly a reflection of themselves, has nothing to do with me and is something I can not change. There will always be people who feel the need to voice their opinion with such certainity that it is TRUTH not aware that TRUTH is subjective, so I had to do this for all of us.

I had to show the world that above all in life the most important thing to me is to trust ourselves, what we know which has been told to us by God and the universe and no one else can see or hear, just like Athena experienced. I had to showcase a place where being your bestfriend was what would lead to defying gravity or as John Quincy Adams put it, "Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." I'd like to add that being you grants you patience and perservance for you depend on your own thoughts to guide you and not what others think therefore never giving up on YOUR dream!

My dream once more has been exceeded. I did tell the cast and crew we would win because we were being guided through this and we did. Even though I trusted that which I knew it didn't make it less magical when it happened. On the contrary it made it more magical because I was shown once again that I am communicating with God and the Universe, that they love me unconditionally and always hold my best interest at heart if I can endure the road the lead me on. Now the final film in its entiretity will be premiering Tuesday at the Rome Film Festival
and my Roman Holiday inspired by Audrey's will now be my reality.

A dream far exceeding what I thought would come of this gut instinct to honor Athena and in the process unite creative souls and help them feel less alone. She certainly did that for me and continues to do so. I can only pray she does it for you too!

As I type this I have received an email informing me that one person has been chosen to walk the red carpet with Paulo and that the other remaining winners may or may not. I am not the chosen one but YES I AM. I was chosen and so are all of us. It is indeed up to us to decide what road we will travel on when life presents our choices. I chose one that cost me a lot financially and presented all kinds of obstacles but above all once more showed me what we human beings are capable of when we listen to our hearts and follow our passion! We are all choosen and it is up to us to CHOOSE to follow our destiny when the signs show up to take us there.

Walking the red carpet...not so important. Watching what was born of sadness and pain for someone's lack of unconditonal love for me, (Click here
to read that story and what Jason called an amazing but not surprising story), in a room full of strangers connecting us all while knowing that for me this is only the beginning, that is what this is about for me. Substance over form always! Meaning experience over looking pretty on the red carpet. If it happens it does and if doesn't I am still on my Roman Holiday LIVING my dream! I'd like to state that in the end it wasn't me my ex couldn't love unconditionally it was himself, for when you love yourself you love everything as is and not as you wish IT was.

To each and everyone one of you listed in this blog I say thank you for allowing me to LIVE my dream!!!! While I am there I will take you with me in my heart knowing that without you I would not be there. To you the reader I say that Eleanor Roosevelt was a wise woman when she said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the BEAUTY of their dreams!" DREAM AWAY MY FRIENDS AND WHEN THE UNIVERSE SENDS THE SIGNS TO GUIDE YOU TOWARDS MAKING YOUR DREAMS A REALITY I HOPE YOU FOLLOW!