Magical Rome parte due. It's about the journey not the destination.

It's happening again. Just when I thought my body was back on Los Angeles time it's not. I've been up since 3:30am so I've given up trying to go back to sleep and instead decided to come blog because well it's due time for parte due....two to some of you and dos for others. ;-) I came back to endless emails, baby shower invites, two unread scripts for my next two productions (one is a play and one is a film I hope to shoot back home in Austin because I need a farm), and ready to continue to make my dreams come to life while still processing all I lived in magical Rome.

I also came back to the people who love me the most, mi familia. Ahhh my training ground for where I am today. The ones who unknowingly made me a warrior. All artistic by nature none by profession but me and my uncle. My mom was a ballerina at Bellas Artes in Mexico City and my uncle is a published poet in Mexico and has always run Cultural Institutes in several different cities so all seven of us kids were brought up in the arts. I was the only one who decided to make it my profession and till this day my family keeps wondering when I will get a REAL job. Recently one of my sister's was in town and while we walked through LAX she said, "You'll get it when you have a real job." Okay, let go and let God. Then she suggested I go get one at the mall by my house. Again let go and let God. The next day my mom started taking to me about going into the waitressing industry and hasn't let it go since. She suggested I do so again the day after I was back from Rome and telling her about my experience. All this was topped off by another sister who replied to my mass email from Rome sharing with my close friends and family my experience thus far and excitement of being chosen as the official image to represent the film with, "great but don't forget to ask God for money." What the? Yes the straw had broken the camel's back but wait there's a lesson in everything if we are open enough to see it. Take a look at a few publications I was featured in as the image of the film.
Movie Hits Magazine

Acchiappa Magazine

Rome Film Festival Official Book


There is one thing I know for sure and that is THAT PEOPLE SEE THE WORLD AS THEY ARE NOT AS IT IS. They worry
which of course means they are projecting their fears onto me and in their view of the world a stable nine to five job with a steady income is the way life should be lived. Are they horrible human beings for constantly making their strong opinions known? NOPE! On the contrary this is their way of showing me they care. It is. They love me and don't want to see me suffer at all. In their eyes my lack of financial stability is suffering and not worth it. They are stuck in that and can't see the magic of Rome or other moments I've lived in the past three years which is why they constantly await a moment when I will say, "Hey I'm working at Express at the mall." Not that it's a bad job because it's not but I've been there done that and I am no longer there in my life. Something they can not see or comprehend.

Basically they want to take from my journey. Unknowingly of course. They love me so much they can't comprehend why such a good person in their eyes hasn't been paid back. Their idea of paid back of course, which means a big bank account. I just have one question for them. How many people do they know who have won a car that lines up with their beliefs, hybrid, won their favorite author's film competition, and appeared in a commercial for a non-profit organization they have supported with donations and in other ways through out their life? An ad which went on to be a finalist at Cannes and win other awards while making a positive contribution to the human race. Icing on the cake! That is how I view the world so I soldier on because I see no reason not to. I really don't. Sure I wish what I invested in my play, it's tour, and my film had all come back financially but it has in other ways. Ways that gave me a satisfaction money couldn't!

But like I told Paulo yesterday in an email, "If someone offered to pay off what I owe and help me become financially stable in exchange for me giving all I have lived in the past three years back I would look the devil straight in the eye and say, "No thank you! I am standing by God because everything I have lived teaches me to trust in that which I can not see but I know on God's time will arrive and this too shall pass. I am standing by God for I know God is standing by me and no matter what things APPEAR to be like I know God has not abandoned me but is helping become the person I am intended to be!" This was part of a long personal conversation with him but this I felt I could share. ;-)

So I did something this past week which was hard but a must. I am a big believer in saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and not saying it meanly. It is so important to me! You don't need to hurt because you've been hurt. The answer does truly lie in love. For me at least. So while my mom suggested I go into the waitressing industry for the millionth time I asked her to stop. I told her that what I did took a lot of faith and courage and that not just anyone could do it. I told her I would no longer allow them to disrespect what I do for a living and therefore would no longer tolerate jokes at my expense or comments about what I should be doing. I was very firm. Towards the end I couldn't help it and the flood came rolling out of my eyes. I told her I wasn't mad at all but that enough was enough.

I had just lived an AMAZING experience and unknowingly they were taking from it so I had to put a stop to it. Which brings me to this. Life for me is always about the journey not the destination which is why I am sharing this story with you. I can post all these amazing pictures and videos and all you will see is the destination. A beautiful destination which is why I think it is very important for everyone to know that we all face challenges everyday and sometimes they are very close to home. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I am who I am because of them. Had they not always fought me so strongly and tried to make me someone else The Art of Being would have never been born. Everything does happen for a reason in my world. With my play I invested my money so I could allow others and myself the gift of individuality because my whole life I had been forced into a box. Something I shared with my local community in hopes of allowing them the ability to express their individuality and this led to my award from Toyota/Glamour, the tour and spreading the message. All because of the intent behind it and because I was following MY HEART!

It's not my family's fault. People are what they know and when society sells conforming and becoming their ideals so well what can we expect of the human race. I figured out I don't have to do anything but follow my heart no matter the opposition. I am blessed with awareness. We all are but again it's up to us to choose to follow our heart and the signs or not. Thanks to my journey with my family and other people in my life I have learned who I am and what I am capable of while all along learning that all I need to have is God and the universe on my side. Emerson was quoted as saying, "If I have lost confidence in myself I have the universe against me." I strongly agree. Do not let ANYONE take your truth from you. TRUST YOURSELF AND HAVE CONFIDENCE IN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE AND WHAT YOU CAN DO NO ONE ELSE CAN!

Because of that lesson I lived what I did in Rome!!! When I couldn't get financing for my film I put it on my credit cards and met the deadline leaving the rest up to the universe and look where I ended up! Befriending my favorite author. We have a strong bond because we have been through a lot in the last year. I have always felt that because we are both warriors we connect the way we do regardless of how different we are or age. Remember I am a fatherless child and what better kind of father figure can I have than one who understands why I fight the way I do for what I believe in. Beliefs that can not be seen or understood by others but only felt in my heart and understood by me. We speak the same language. The language of the signs and I hope we can stay friends forever. Only time will tell. Here are a few shots of us in Rome at the after party shooting a video
on my flip. On a side note I introduced him to Jason Mraz and now he's tweeting about how great he thinks he is. I will have to ask if he has actually listened to his music and read his blog
, which I sent him back when he had reposted my blog about me and Paulo. The reason I ended up with a blog. ;-)




And it's a wrap. ;-)


This is a behind the scenes look at the journey en Route to Rome.


En Route to LA. These will show you that sometimes we are re routed and what we thought would happen doesn't yet again teaching me that TRUST is crucial.


I communicate with God and the universe in a lot of ways and one of them is this, my horoscope. I hear you. ;-)
Tuesday, Nov 3rd, 2009 -- You may feel as if you are being bounced around today by forces that are beyond your control. You could waste time and energy now by trying to take charge of your life, but it's wiser to soften your stance and let go of your agenda for a while. This does not mean you need to change your overall direction; just take the pressure off yourself for the day by trusting in the wisdom of the universe.

It's my horoscope for today and it's perfect timing. A reminder that when you follow the signs you have to surrender control and like it says in the end TRUST IN THE WISDOM OF THE UNIVERSE! If my memory serves me well these past few weeks in Rome are proof that I should soldier on about on my journey and leave the destination up to God and the universe. A journey which I wouldn't give back for anything in the world because it allows me the opportunity to find out who I truly am and what I am made of while allowing the universe to present moments that exceed my expectations. Moments like Magical Rome. What comes next? Only God and the universe know but if I have been paying attention I don't need to worry but just be ready to receive that which I deserve, that which we all deserve. When I was in therapy I used to write affirmations to myself all the time in my dressing room mirror. I took it up again. Take a look. It reads, "The abounding river of unconditional love and money is flowing into my life! I am open to receiving! The time is now!" I say it every morning with conviction! ;-)




May you find the courage and strength within you to allow your journey to guide you to a magnificent destination while remembering that it truly is about the journey....enduring it and trusting it! Oh it never hurts to EXPECT MIRACLES LIKE MAGICAL ROME!
The Vatican. Look at those skies!