My lovely life!

By "all accounts" based on what I had to endure on April 20, 2010 I am not supposed to be able to see life as a lovely, beautiful experience. Some people have questioned how I can possibly move forward. I am "supposed" to be shriveled up in some corner lifeless questioning why. If you truly believe that is what I am supposed to be doing than you obviously don't REALLY know me. To them I say "I walk by faith not by sight". I live by these beautiful words spoken by Helen Keller, "The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or touched they must be felt with the heart!"

No matter what I saw and felt on April 20th I knew I'd be alright and so I moved forward through the unknown into today. Four months have passed and my life just keeps getting lovelier by the minute. Guess I should take a minute to say that it's not because it's perfect because it's far from that but it's simply because I realize everything is as it should be and everyday brings with it the necessary teachers which will arm my soul with faith, courage, humility, love, and all the beautiful things my heart longs to know. It is lovely not in spite of life on life's terms but because of life on life's terms. Here is a tribute in pictures to everything that makes my life a lovely life!

Children are God's greatest gift and the most honest beings I've encountered. Trust me there's nothing like having Devon tell me in front of everyone while I held her in my arms,"you have bad breath". If that's not honest I don't know what is. ;-)

Taking a nap with my nephew the year I met him.

My beautiful friend Ondrea and her beautiful daughter Omelie

The beautiful boy that brought me back to life after four beings I loved went home. JC Branca


Family, Familia is what makes me who I am. I am inspired by all these people and I am grateful for all the brilliant actors the universe decided to send my way to portray my family. Of course I am grateful for the teachers God sent me, which I call my blood brothers and sisters. ;-)

My sisters and I with my mom. I rushed to Monterrey the day after I found out my baby nephew had been put in intensive care a few months after arriving on planet earth. Here we are in the waiting room. He's a very healthy toddler these days!


My sister Veronica and I after she surprised me in Texas at one of the stops of my play when we were touring. I LOVE HER!!!


Seven kids!!! My mom is one BRAVE BEAUTIFUL SOUL!!! I am the youngest. ;-)


My current "family", which I am beyond blessed to know. I trust in the wisdom of the universe because I know that by making them my "family" we are going to go on a beautiful journey together.


Friends are my backbone. These beautiful people and many more along my 33 year journey have made my life a beautiful one!

Enjoying Silke's company while she visits from Germany. Here's to manifesting her move back to LA. That's what we are drinking to. ;-)


Celebrating my 33rd with a gratitude dinner for my lovely friends!


Cast members of The Art of Being who became friends, who then became family. Here we are leaving our tour's stop in Texas.


My body! I am thankful for all it has allowed me to put it through in a month and a half. After deciding I would no longer allow a two year old diagnosis of a premature stress induced heart beat to rule my life I took off with pace. I went from barely making it through my class to doing class three times a week and running! I am so grateful for my body and for the wisdom that comes with age, listening to my body! ;-) Within a year I hope to be able to be back to dancing to the beat of my own drum and the rhythm of my soul!

Me and Jerry, my dance teacher of five years, getting back into the grove of things after a few years off.


Testing out an old move. I can still do it! Thank you body!


UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! I've yet to know it but this year I will! This is the year I receive and give unconditional LOVE and when I do I will return here with someone.


And we will sit here and chat about our blessed, lovely life! ;-)


Lastly the one thing that connects me to what I believe to be a God of my understanding and that brings Emerson's quote to life for me, "All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen", NATURE!!! My constant source of INSPIRATION!!!

Runyon Canyon 6:30am or so just as the sun rises. What a sight! Knowing this awaits me makes my 5am wake up call do able! If you look really close to the right you can see Griffith Park! I love walking through the creek there.


Lake Travis in Austin. A sight to behold! I took these the weekend my boyfriend broke up with me two days before Valentine's and instead of Santa Barbara I went to Austin, read the Witch of Portobello and the rest is history. That saying "when god/life/universe closes one door it opens another", I'm living proof it's true. That door that closed allowed me to be myself and open another whose journey led me to Rome. This sight eased my pain before I knew Rome would become my reality.



Lastly I am a lover of all creatures and I believe we've invaded their home so take a look at this and really think twice before the next time you decide to end their lovely life. ;-)



May your lovely day allow you to see what a lovely life this is indeed!!

Dearest Destiny I thank you!

Dearest Destiny,

I come to you filled with gratitude and inspiration. It has been quite the week as you well know and quite frankly quite the life. There always seems to be some sort of challenge that shows itself at the most unwanted time with the best of intentions. Best of intentions you ask? Well it's doing exactly what I asked of life and providing me with situations that give me the opportunity to grow in patience, faith, strength, courage among many other things, which I pray for while I stand at the top of Runyon witnessing the beauty that is my idea of God through nature.

Tonight destiny led me to a destination that filled me with inspiration when I needed it most. I love my industry for its ability to connect us to each other and make us feel less alone. Whether it be through a song whose lyrics you could have written as it seems like a page from your personal journal or a film that showcases in two hours all you have lived in four years or should I say all I have lived, my industry truly allows you the gift of feeling less alone and understood. I say destiny brought me there tonight because when my friend said she couldn't go to the screening tonight I thought maybe I wouldn't and while I lay around debating something told me just go. While I sat in the theater it became quite clear why I had clearly heard just go. Those little nudges can sometimes lead us to our destiny if we allow them to. It can be something as simple as tonight or as big as listening to myself when I heard just do it as I contemplated nominating myself for the GLAMOUR Toyota Award telling myself that nominating myself was too egotistical. Thank God I listened to that nudge. ;-)

Tonight as I watched the film I experienced so many emotions which I feel is what a good film should produce in us. Inspire us while connecting us to it and triggering flashbacks you thought were in a land so distant it might have been another lifetime. I've finally come to understand that I can't forget a certain situation which I was reminded of by this movie because the other party involved really hurt me. Me, the woman who believed herself untouched by the uninvited lashing of a once thought ally, was reminded by this film and my friend Mary Queen that I had been deeply hurt by someone I cared for deeply and until I could admit that the past would remain present. As I watched I realized destiny brought me there tonight to show me things I needed to see and accept things I never dared to.

When someone burned me with their words so harshly hoping that I would turn into ashes and disappear into thin air based on a situation we both created but they believed I was solely at fault for I decided to not only be immune to being lit and becoming ashes but I turned off the part of me that would allow me to be hurt by their words and to go on to heal. For years I told myself it didn't matter only to realize tonight how much hurt one person's words had brought my now heavy heart and how heavy of a burden pretending to be okay had become. I had always believed them to be my destiny they had always believed me to their chance encounter. They lied to me and others repeatedly and in the end I paid the price for their lies. At least that is what it would seem to them as I was to receive a second lashing of words a year after the first. I don't believe I truly paid for their mistakes because as you do so shall be done to you. While you may impose your free will on others to justify your choices sooner or later karma arrives. Tonight I saw my truth quite clearly, I had my destiny to fulfill and they had theirs and with each other in our lives we would have not lived what we have lived apart. This is solely my truth inspired by one amazing movie that makes you question everything in the course of two hours.

Is it fate, chance, or free will? Is there really a God or are we just here for no reason with no true guidance. If you've read my blogs you know where I stand on that one. These beautiful words of Christina Rossetti sum up my beliefs so well, "Were there no God, we would be in this glorious world with grateful hearts, and no one to thank." I also believe in the beauty of free will. The will to face ourselves and our mistakes and become better by learning from them or the free will to avoid growth and our destiny by faulting others for our choices. I choose to take full responsibility for every choice I make and thank God for the free will which allows me to create my destiny. Dearest former ally I forgive you and I hope you can forgive yourself because I believe that when you do you will stop making me someone I am not, your enemy.

Below is the trailer for the film, which inspired me to admit the truth to myself and, which I hope you see when it comes out. May your free will allow you to make choices that let your faith meet your fate.