The lessons of leaving.

Swimming against the current is a fine thing in my book considering I hold Thomas Jefferson's words in my heart, "In matters of style swim with the current. In matters of principle stand like a rock." I abide by them except in matters of style I stand like a rock as well rooted in individuality, which allows me to express my art of being girlie. In a phone conversation last night a lot of light was shed on my swimming. A dear friend also left Los Angeles ten years before I did. We discussed the freedom that came with leaving behind the dense energy of the city. Being that we are both born and raised Texas girls the energy combined with our natural energy was a tough combo. It is a BEAUTIFUL city with so much to offer but in my experience rooted in superficiality turning truly talented people into people who question their God given talents and sell their individuality for a chance at stardom. We discussed how I had managed to live my way into my late twenties letting go of the tight grip the city's rules/energy had once held on this growing twenty something. How I had learned to swim against the current not fearing but embracing going in the opposite direction. Something I loved to do but, which 2011 proved to be a difficult task as that year I did not swim against the current, I swam against high tides desperately coming up for air whenever I could. What I learned was that sometimes life will take everything from you to get your attention. I thought I had let go, surrendered and was open to the possibilities. That wasn't the case. At least not to the level God and the universe needed me to be or life as I knew it would not had been stripped from me little by little and enough to get my attention. I embraced each detour as it came remaining hopeful that magic was on its way yet again learning that the arrival of it is on God's time. As I get ready to celebrate my mom's Suprise 70th birthday party, which she thinks is my sister's engagement party, I smile because I could have never imagined this. That I'd be here with all my siblings celebrating her. I am stubborn so I refused to leave LA as a bitter divorcee without a settlement, my residuals. But after my Microsoft avail n(being on hold for commercial) did not turn into a booking and two intense weeks followed it I could see clearly what God wanted from me. I guess the Texas plates I saw all over LA where a sign too. ;-) So here I am in Austin living a simple life. A life rooted in individuality in a city that encourages not only that but for you to help keep it weird. I knew I wanted to end up here someday but I never dreamt so soon or under the circumstances, which I came here. Ones you'll see soon as my documentary's trailer is finished and will be up online soon. And ones I wouldn't wish upon anyone and yet I am grateful for them as they were just what I needed in order to get it. Sometimes life will give more than we think we can handle yet I think Mother Teresa said it best, "I know God doesn't give me anything I can't handle I just wish he didn't trust me so much." For me it's I wish it didn't trust me so much as I think assigning this mysterious powerful source in the vast unknown of the universe would limit my thinking. ;-) So in leaving LA so many lessons came as you will soon see for yourself soon but most of all yet again a bond grew. The bond with God, the universe and all the magic of the unseen grew as I drove past Arizona, New Mexico and breathed my way into Texas. Breaths that became effortless! In leaving I learned that swimming against the current and knowing how to can definitely come in handy but swimming in high tides, barely breathing and hoping not to drown can truly affect your health. I've learned that in being able to barely breathe I found appreciation for my breath, its importance and what matters most is what I think of me not what others think of me or my circumstances. In leaving I learned that letting go is the path to magic only God and the universe will provide, once again, on their time. After all for me magic just like pain is a choice that can be-li(e)ved in over and over again. The choice to surrender and follow the signs is yours! I'll try to remember as best as I can that " Life is a journey not a destination, there are no mistakes, just chances we take." I took a chance on leaving!