Monday, February 28, 2011

The journey continues! Meet the Bearing Fruit production team.

As I make my way through these recent transitions I can tell you one thing is certain for me, the loss of my dad and friend have taught me that I must go on because what we all know becomes more evident, there are no guarantees. I trusted myself enough to know that I would be able to move forward and continue my journey for this current project that consumes me with passion when it felt right and that time has come. Someday I will chrononicle the entire journey of the project whose title can not be more fitting, Bearing Fruit. The signs that kept my hope alive, Esperanza Spalding, the things I choose to walk away from, investors,while trusting God that putting principle before profit would pay off. Most of all the way I was able to see how every detour, where it felt like it in the moment or not, was indeed leading me to the road that I was meant to be on. I trust the detours are leading to a destination far beyond what I can dream, which is why delays sometimes take place in order to make sure all of us journeying together are ready.

I believe universal conspiracies usually require that we be ready to step into the big shoes aka a big moment life presents us with. That we be ready for the grandiose destination we are being guided to is crucial as any negative feelings can make you believe you aren't deserving when in reality I believe you are guided to exactly what you have worked hard for and more. On this journey I am accompanied by some extraordinary teachers who everyday show me what passion, dreams and tenacity can create. I present to you with great honor the production team behind Bearing Fruit. Without them my journey would be incomplete and very different. For their ability to weather the storm with me with such grace I am beyond grateful. I can't not wait to see where all this is taking us. We appreciate your support as we continue to move forward and Bear Fruit.

Bearing Fruit is a dramatic narrative that explores the depth and complexity of our familial relationships. The story is a character study into some of the pertinent philosophical questions that have emerged from Man’s use of modern technology. The interpersonal struggles of the Rodriguez family will allow the audience to ponder and experience the relationship between science and ethics, causing us to contemplate and define the parameters between human individuality and the collective units that structure our society. (Website coming soon)


EXECUTIVE PRODUCER PAUL RODRIGUEZ

Comedian/Actor Paul Rodriguez was born in Culiacán, Sinaloa, Mexico to parents who were migrant farm laborers. He was raised in East Los Angeles and served in the military, where he was stationed in Iceland and Duluth, Minnesota. Rodriguez considered becoming a lawyer, but instead went into comedy. His first shot at national fame was the ABC sitcom a.k.a. Pablo. Rodriguez has starred in several feature films including, D.C. Cab, Born in East L.A., Tortilla Soup, Rat Race, and Ali. He directed and starred in the film A Million to Juan. Rodriguez has also performed voice-over roles on King of the Hill, Dora the Explorer and Beverly Hills Chihuahua. In 2011 he will return to theaters alongside Eva Longoria and Christian Slater in Without Men, in which Rodriguez plays a guerrilla leader. Rodriguez currently stars in the comedy-reality series 'Mis Videos Locos' on MTV Tr3s. He is glad to be a part of the Bearing Fruit team and annoy, we mean support long time friend Adriana Garza.


EXECUTIVE PRODUCER/ACTOR ADRIANA GARZA
"Adriana Garza is a talented actress, producer, and above all a human being who is capable of following her dreams." Paulo Coelho- Latin Star Magazine Oct. 09’


Adriana was born to Mexican parents in Brownsville, Texas. As a result her childhood consisted of traveling between Mexico and the United States making her fluent in both languages. Her ballerina mother, Mercedes Cortazar, who put Adriana in dance classes at the age of three and theater at the age of ten, influenced her career choice.

As an actor she has appeared in several commercials for Dodge, Burger King, and Reddi Wip to name a few. In 2009 she appeared in a commercial for Unicef’s Tap Project, which prompted her to become a volunteer with the 2010 Tap Project and produce the Los Angeles fundraiser for Unicef’s Tap Project. She is passionate about the cause because it provides children in underdeveloped countries their basic human right, clean water. Her Unicef commercial, "Desperate", has gone on to win eight awards in 2009 and 2010, most recently the NY Festival Award awarded in Shanghai. In 2009 it was one of ten finalists at the Cannes Lions Awards from over 4,000 International entries. She also appeared as the lead character Athena in "The Experimental Witch" as well as produced the film. In May of 2010 Adriana was awarded the President’s Volunteer Service Award for her commitment to community service.

Since its inception in 2006 her production company’s work has been featured in GLAMOUR magazine, won her the Toyota Moving Forward Award, won the Paulo Coelho International Film competition, premiered at the Rome Film Festival and helped create awareness of the Global Water Crisis.


DIRECTOR RANDY KENT

Randy’s feature work includes Life, Death & Mini-Golf, starring SNL’s Kristen Wiig; The Lempke Brothers; the current festival touring indie drama Life Of Lemon, starring Dan Lauria and Beth Grant; and the horror anthology The Perfect House, that is soon start a multi-city tour campaign.

His short film, Timmy the Bag Boy, is an award winning festival hit that played throughout the United States, along with schools across the country of India.

Additional awards Kent has received throughout his career include “Best Comedy Short”, “Best Commercial” and “Best Music Video” at The Hollywood Film Look Festival.

With one feature film currently in post-production, two projects touring the country and another in pre-production, this award winning director continues to push boundaries with his off-the-cuff sense of humor, style and his keen eye for taking stories from the written page to the screen.


WRITER JOHN A. RINCON


John Andrew Rincon was born in Corpus Christi, Texas (a.k.a. "The Sparkling City by the Sea"); birthplace of Farah Fawcett, legendary Tejano singer Selena and, most prominently, the world famous Whataburger.

From a young age, John's writing ability was recognised by teachers; however, at the age of 10, John turned down entry into a magnet school for gifted students in order to stay at public school with "his bros". His subsequent youth was spent either on the beach or in trouble and sometimes a colorful combination of both. As the story goes, it wasn't until John reached 28 years of age that he finally picked up his pen again. With a multitude of diverse life experiences under his belt, he has since graduated from The University of Texas RTF program and is now living in Sydney, Australia with his lovely new wife and daughter, where he is currently working on his next script: Mucho Garcia: Operation Garden The Prequel; a comedic satire that is a modern day version of Don Quixote meets Austin Powers.

CO-PRODUCER LISA SKARVELES

Lisa was born in sunny south Florida and gained a passion for film at a very young age. She enjoyed countless movie marathons and became captivated with storytelling and the movie-making process. Her original career plan involved Law School but after high school, she decided that life was to short and she wanted to pursue her passion of film. She graduated from the University of Central Florida at the age of 20 with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and a minor in Cinema Studies. A few months after graduation, she packed up her bags and moved to Los Angeles to start her career. This is where her journey begins and will continue to grow.

CASTING DIRECTOR BLANCA VALDEZ

Blanca Valdez Casting Inc. is a leading provider of talent casting services to production companies and advertising agencies. Services include: casting in English, casting in Spanish, multi language casting, accent specific casting, real people for any market, celebrities of all types, voice over casting, print AD/Photo talent search, special abilities, hard to fill roles. BVC offers coordinated multi location casting services via it’s network of partners in Las Vegas, New York, Miami, Vancouver B.C., Toronto, Mexico City, Madrid, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, and Buenos Aires. The busiest dedicated and independent casting facility in Los Angeles is also among the most technologically advanced. Each of their young and energetic casting associates is bilingual and all have experience in both the English and Spanish markets. They specialize in saving their clients time and money by providing a single stop talent source no matter what market, vector, language, or accent. Blanca Valdez has done it all, more than once, and she has the credits and the reputation to prove it. We are honored to have her onboard.



WARDROBE STYLIST MICHAEL MULLEN

Michael originally hails from San Antonio, Texas and currently lives in Hollywood with his two dogs Wally and Lulu (a.k.a. his children) and loves to eat, perform, design clothes and costumes, eat, write, watch GENERAL HOSPITAL, and oh yeah-eat. He has a degree in theatre from The University of Southern California and a fashion design degree from The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. Michael has performed in and costume designed several productions both on stage and on film throughout Los Angeles. Some of the plays that he has performed in recently are: ALEXANDRA (East L.A. Rep.), SEVEN AT WEST 70TH (Little Fish Theatre), DON GIOVANNI TONIGHT, DON CARLO TOMORROW (Sacred Fools Theatre), SOPHISTICATED BROADWAY (The Blank Theatre Company), TOOTH AND NAIL (Little Fish Theatre), SYLVIA (Hermosa Beach Playhouse), WAIT UNTIL DARK (Hermosa Beach Playhouse), CHICO'S ANGELS (Cavern Club Theatre), PORCELAIN (Celebration Theatre), OOOOOGY GREEN AND OTHER FABLES (Celebration Theatre, Geffen Playhouse, and Magic Theatre), AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BOTTOM (Celebration Theatre and The Actor's Playhouse), DEAR HARVEY (Celebration Theatre), THE ART OF BEING (Artworks Theatre Los Angeles and The Bailiwick Chicago).

He is currently costuming BEARING FRUIT (Adriana Garza Productions) and CABARET (Doma Productions). You can also check out some of his fashion design escapades on Craigslist TV (Youtube.Com/Craigslist) which is produced by Brownstone Entertainment. He hopes to one day have an evening and bridal wear clothing line.

For futher information on Bearing Fruit and Adriana Garza Productions please visit
Adriana Garza Productions

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This blog wouldn't be complete if I didn't end it the way I always do. Everyone mentioned in this blog at one point or another in the past few months held me up and helped me through the unknown. They were my flashlight in the darkness that appeared as all doors seemed to close at once and leave me in the dark hallway. Most of all their actions showed that they had faith in me trusting that when I was ready the light inside of me, which has been dimmed by what the unknown has brought, would again become a firework and that time has come. For their faith in me there really are no words as I do not need that faith when GLAMOUR, Toyota, Paulo Coelho and Rome come calling, on the contrary I need it when they are not and while I live my way into the what next. May you be blessed to be surrounded by people whose faith guides you back to your light and may an explosion of fireworks occur when all your lights come together too!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Waiting for the end, Entirely New Direction, to come.

Twenty days ago I was sitting here expressing all I was feeling and while I did that the call I was hoping for arrived right as I finished typing my last blog and right on time. It's been three weeks since I've sat across from the woman whose voice I heard on the other end of the line and who at the time was a complete stranger to me. I had contacted her office because as I grow through different journeys in this lifetime I keep learning what is in my best interest and gratefully I've learned to act upon those lessons. What I realized this time was that I couldn't wait for the pain I was feeling to devour me and launch me into a deep sea of fear. I had to take action because I knew that I couldn't avoid life on life's terms. I couldn't change Neil's passing or my father's passing. No matter how magical I believe the universe to be I knew that was one thing the universe could not grant me and I was being met with an END. A journey full of hope to be able to know my dad someday had come to an end and would not be. A journey full of hope of working with Neil again and watching him gracefully and kindly guide his crew through a film set had also met its end and would not come to be. Both of the those journeys had arrived at a literal end and so I knew what would have to come next for me. My end with them would be an opportunity to take an Entirely New Direction as I live on.

I knew I had to move on but I also knew I had to walk through the fire that was now my reality. I prayed to not be consumed by the fire of fears that constantly plagued me. I was in a reality so far from the one I knew but what I had learned the most in the past few years was that if I refused to face this reality head on and face my biggest fear, being consumed by the flames of these fears I was living and the unbalance my life was currently in, I would pay an even bigger price and someday down the line when I least expected I would come undone. I would fall apart out of nowhere because all I refuse to face now would eventually catch up to me and remind me that what I resisted persisted, as many things have in my past. So that fateful day I told the complete stranger on the other end of the line that I would see her the following week and that I was grateful for the six weeks I would be spending sitting across from her.

After our first session I told her why I cried the way I did on our first phone call. I mentioned my blog and how I had just finished typing it when her call came through. Coincidence? Wish I believed in those but I don't. I believe there are no accidents and what she told me next reassured me in my belief! This therapy six week session is free but you have to qualify based on need for therapy. When I applied I was told there was a waiting list and it would be a few months. I thought fine I'll go when the universe thinks it's time for me to go, as with everything in my life. Do I always agree with the timing? Maybe not right away but eventually I come to see that timing is everything and that I have no control over timing. ;-) She told me she had a stack of applications she was looking through and one session available. She said when she ran across mine she knew to call me. Accident? Not in my eyes. I had just had a really rough day and had blogged about it and asked for help and there she was. A timely heaven sent angel because God and the universe saw my pain and wanted to help me face the fires of fears I was tempted to be consumed by.

While I may realize that these fears I was facing are indeed false evidence appearing real some days they felt more real than false and were accompanied with an array of emotions. Emotions I did not long to hide or run from but emotions I also did not want to be consumed by. I wanted to restore my balance and in order for that to happen I knew I would have to walk through the fears, face them get to the brink of insanity and come back to my essence. I have been working on that for three weeks and have another three to go. Today as I left her office I realized that I like her a lot and that are paths crossing is no coincidence. While things are coming up again that I dealt with last time in therapy, which are bound to resurface when you are grieving not only the loss of your father but also the loss of what could have been, I actually feel lighter when I leave her office and not drained like I often did the last time I was in therapy in 2005. It feels like I am letting go and letting God a lot more than I ever have. That while a sadness underlines the acceptance of my current reality I am still able to accept it.

The balance I completely lost in the weeks after my father's passing which caused me to act out in fear is being restored. Everyday one day at a time I put one foot in front of the other and move forward as best as I can. Most days I laugh and everyday I am grateful for my existence and the fact that it allows me to be here to grow through this journey. A journey which I trust, whether it is clear right now or not, is taking me in an Entirely New Direction. I believe it is not a coincidence that my six week session ends as spring begins. That perhaps the universe timed it so that this butterfly can shed her cocoon when the flowers bloom once again and the sun will hopefully not only shine in the skies over Los Angeles but God willing genuinely in my heart once more.

Today in session when speaking of ways I block myself in receiving love from those I am interested in we laughed as we concluded I am not perfect and should forgive myself for actions taken based on fear immediately following the passing of my father which ended up alienating someone I wanted close by. Oh and that whole not perfect thing is up for debate. I kid of course it's all about progress not perfection for me. In that progress not perfection mindset I decided to keep working on my film because life is short but to not throw myself into work so much I lost balance again. I opted to stay away from any action that stemmed from fear and denied me the ability to process the process and eventually take me in an entirely new direction. I decided to face my fears and comfort myself with music like this song whose appearance and timing in my life was no coincidence and whose lyrics I found complete solace in. As the song says, "This is not what I had planned. It’s out of my control. I know what it takes to move on" and since I do I sit here and share with you my journey towards my Entirely New Direction and my only hope is that you may find your way through yours too!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Finding forgiveness in being the daughter of a con artist.

The week my father passed almost a month ago I received a lot of calls and emails. I got to a point where I couldn't focus anymore on what I was reading or listening to. I opted to make a folder in my email and place all the emails there so that when I was ready to process them and reply I would. Few things stick out about the weeks that followed the call. I recall my emotions being terribly heightened and since so many things came undone, personally and professionally, within the following week of the call I tried to control everything I knew I couldn't to try and stop the process of what I was catapulted into growing through. I can see now that my behavior actually pushed people away from me and as time has gone on I have held hope that given the circumstance all of them know it has nothing to do with them.

Few things stand out like the following two. Ruben who was slated, and I am still hoping for a miracle so it can be so, to portray my character's dad in my film called me. We had a lovely conversation but what stood out the most was when he told me I had given my dad a great gift by being able to forgive him and that perhaps that forgiveness had allowed him to cling on to life for two more years. When I had spoken to my father, after twenty-four years of not doing so, he had mentioned he was in remission from cancer. Whether my forgiveness allowed him to live on or not I will never hear it from my father's lips but I have a gut feeling it may have as I know what a great feeling it is not only to forgive but be forgiven. Recent years have shown me how powerful it is to forgive oneself as well.

The second thing that stood out for me was said by my sister Ivonne. I found her quite courageous in being able to speak such beautiful words as being the oldest of the seven afforded her the ability to process all the pain my dad's choices caused. The day after I had found out I laid on one couch crying and Lisa laid on the other keeping watch over me. I wasn't really answering the phone much but when I saw unknown on the caller id, which tends to be Mexico, I knew I should. My sister spoke with me for a while and then said the words that will stay with me forever, "For all the mistakes your father made you were one of his greatest accomplishments." I cried and cried at the possibility that he may have felt that too. That reconnecting with me and getting a glimpse into the woman I had become may have made him proud that I was nothing like him.

I've been told he was a con artist and that is why it was best we not have him in our lives. Being in therapy for four years allowed me to see many things. One is that people are what they know and from what I know of his childhood it was very difficult for someone like him having lived what he did without any help from a therapist or of some sort to have been fit to raise another human being. As he showed me by example it was very difficult. All of us I believe have stuff we have come here to work out, the reasons for it and what it all leads to beyond this existence I know nothing of but I have learned that accepting circumstances can make life a beautiful mess because within all the hardships, battles, challenges or whatever you wish to call them you will find yourself with the ability to see how beautiful it is to be here to LIVE them. Of course I wish some days were easier but I also know from experience that easy comes at a cost and that is not really LIVING.

He lived as best as he could as best as he knew how. My sister's words have kept me thinking about how I turned out nothing like him. Maybe I have some of his traits of which I am unaware of, good ones I hope, but ultimately I am the complete opposite of him. While my mom has something to do with that I also believe who I was born to be is just so different than who he was born to be and yet I am and will forever be my father's daughter. I will forever be the daughter of a con artist and I am so okay with that. Who he was and how he chose to live does not lay my path before me. I think being able to forgive him and his choices has allowed me to pave my own path and perhaps pushed me in the direction of choosing the extreme opposite of what he did. His example taught me what I didn't want to be and what I didn't want for my children. Maybe without that I wouldn't work so hard to be who I am and make the choices I make.

I've been labeled picky but perhaps now people will see why it is of utmost importance to me to not only bring life into this world with someone who regards it with as much responsibility as I do but also with someone who longs for the experience and lessons parenthood will bring. It is no small feat and I will never treat it as such. Ironically I believe my dad is out there making sure whoever he is is fit for his daughter. I believe he is out taking care of me in ways he never could while he was here. I hear him comfort me in my time of sorrow and I trust all is as it should be even if today I can't comprehend it.

I will never know the truth about who my dad was or what he did. I will always carry with me the perception of what everyone who shared life with him thought. However because of my choices I will also now carry with me the knowledge that I have forgiven myself for being the daughter of a con artist, I have forgiven him for being a con artist, and I am in the process of forgiving all those who can not seem to forgive him. Con Artist was just a label dad. You could have been so much more but at the same time I trust everything is as it should be. Thinking of you a lot today. Mostly grateful that you gave me the gift of life. Hopefully you forgave me for not having the courage to see you in person since our call. I didn't feel ready and if there is one thing life has taught me it's that if you pry the butterfly out of its cocoon before it's ready its wings won't be able to spread and it won't fly. I wasn't ready to fly your way and I am sorry. "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." Lewis B. Smedes


Timing is everything dad. Life keeps showing me that over and over. As I grow through these changes, which appear to have insurmountable challenges please give me strength to carry on and the ability to forgive myself on the days I can't. Therefore allowing me to work my way into the what next TRUSTING that you, grandpa, Neil, Janet, Paula, and all my other angels along with God are ensuring that my TIME to move beyond this and into an extraordinary what next will come right on time. Thanks for watching over my dreams and guiding me to them. WOW! Just as I was finishing this blog the call came and proved timing is everything. I got the call that I am no longer on a waiting list and my first session starts next week. Thank you! I have someone to talk to again. If there is ever proof that I am not just taking to myself or my beliefs are crazy as my ex called them it's in moments like this phone call. Grateful to be able to see the beauty in such a hard day and the timing is indeed everything!

Thank you God, dad, grandpa and Neil for hearing my cries. ;-)