Dearest Los Angeles. A Love letter.

Dearest Los Angeles, It is hard to believe it has been sixteen years since I first fell in love with you. When I lived in Texas and Mexico and I had heard of you, you seemed like such a distant place where only special people lived. A place so magical it took so much courage for me to believe I could belong in its beauty. At the time you were the new and desired adventure. A break from routine where even more magical things could be born. For years you and I had a love hate relationship but as I type this I can definitely say I am GRATEFUL for all the gifts born in the challenges birthed in the curves of your canyons, offices of seeming Gods or at least humans with egos allowing them to believe they are a God and can control my Fate, and in the arms of those European cities our work took me to that held within them the biggest test of all, my test of character. You and I have come to an agreement to divorce amicabily. No ill words, just a simple understanding that the time has come for a new beginning and that our mutual love has taken us to where we needed to get to embark on this new beginning. I still remember getting off the one way ticket plane ride with four hundred dollars, two suitcases, one with clothes and one with shoes, and a dream like it was yesterday. A dream that all your challenges helped me exceed. As you well know I never dreamt of fame or money but simply of acting. You however being such a loving, caring partner wanted more from me and pushed me in every possible way to make the I'MPOSSIBLE my reality. Sometimes you begged, pleaded and pushed me into a corner ultimately because you had my best interest at hand and because I was too stubborn then to be open to the signs. In that corner I found my voice, I fell in love ( a lot in a lot of ways), and ultimately learned that the road less traveled does indeed birth dreams beyond my imagination. As I traveled to Paris and London alone, as I had always wanted to before getting married and having kids, you patiently awaited my return so I could share my growth. Then off to New York I went more than a few times because of you, The Art of Being and fate. I posed for a national magazine for the first time and came back elated to share the experience with you, the award it led to and continued to stay in it with you till our next journey took us to Rome. Again you awaited my return anxiously so I could tell you all about Paulo Coelho, my experience on the red carpet and all the magic of staying true to myself in your arms. All that was born of being with you but still being me. You also gave me the greatest gift a woman could ever wish for, friends who proved family is not only found in blood, but in being love. You always found a way to help me wonder your streets into the arms of the BEST and I kid not when I say BEST people you held in your streets and as a result I fell in love. At one point or another they all were a flashlight that illuminated the sometimes darkened streets ego's power can create in your beauty. Beauty that is like nothing I have ever seen. In Griffith and Runyon I came to understand the signs and learn how to follow them through my gut. In Malibu I found LOVE in a magical way! Well honestly I don't have to tell you, as you know, you bent yourself and exposed yourself in every way possible to give me the best life and you did. You so did. But as the song says "I've been afraid of changing cause I build my life around you!" I had become so enamored with all you gave me and all your promises I fell into the arms of routine because after the past couple of years my nerves were shot. As you know through the grace of God I faced everyday as best as I could in that moment but it was becoming apparent, we no longer belonged together. Something that became so clear when I was in the waiting room for the Honda audition I booked and I wanted to be anything but love and tell the girls conversing about how great it was to be skinny and how they accomplished it, that death was knocking at their door too and would greet them one day, maybe too soon like it had Neil, so they should shut the fuck up and find a more productive way to spend their waiting room time. I was loosing myself in you. Your hold on me and its routine was making me angry and it took another six months but as you know I finally did it. I finally let you go. As I type this I await the morning anxiously as the movers will arrive and return me to the place I so anxiously fled at nineteen. You more than anyone know I am so grateful for our sixteen years, all you gave me and the woman I became BECAUSE OF YOU! However now that I genuinely feel the winds of change guiding me without fear of them knocking me down again I can leave you. I can leave you and give birth to my new dream. One I have shared with you for almost four years. I can go there now and you know why I can? Because of what YOU gifted me. It will open doors or close them as I am still that woman certain that the only way to her dream and the I'MPOSSIBLE is with my dignity in tact. I should thank you for all the men whose art I fell in love with and for having them teach me about unconditional love as most of them thought it okay to put their banana in every fruit bowl available and you taught me to love them even with our differences and YET TO LOVE ME MORE. You know whose in Austin, you know what is in Austin and I know you know it's time to go claim the life I can only claim thanks to you. I LOVE YOU, I WILL MISS YOU, AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. THANK YOU FOR MY NEW BEGINNING! With immense gratitude, Adri