The art and yes perk of growing up a wallflower.

If you saw the art of being in its first run then you know what my childhood was like. Let's just say I did a lot of work in therapy to overcome all the name calling. And in high school I did what I could to fit in and be seen. So eventually I won a pageant, the thing to do in Texas, and quickly realized that is not the seen I longed for. Yet we grow up with everything being chosen for us and advertisers guiding us. Yes there are fabulous advertisers whose sites usually end in .gov or start with PBS but they are the ones less seen. The ones I discovered as an adult. So like the lead character in the Perks of being a wallflower I too stood on the sidelines, observed and like a sponge soaked it all in. Don't feel bad for me because it turned out to be my first acting tool, listening and observing, which led to being present. A must in my world of acting if I want the audience to feel what I feel. Throwing out lines is good for some but if I can't make you feel my sadness or joy I have not done my job. So as I grew from a wallflower into a centerflower I picked up a few things along the way. You probably already know this but the person picking on you is in a lot of pain and yes misery loves company. I read back on some of my journals and I was depressed because I didn't know then that I had a choice or a voice. I just simply wanted to fit in and yet like you I was created to stand out. In junior high I wore a tie. Or leggings with bike shorts spandex, knee high boots, a blouse and red lips. It was in 9th grade that my love of style was being born. Prior to that year I wore NKOTB shirts everyday. A different one in support of the love I felt for the fab five men from Boston who awarded me with solace. Wait you were their favorite girl too? And cover girl? Well... My bully didn't like my shirts. She made sure she would point it out to me whenever possible. As one of the main cheerleaders in our junior high I can now conclude it may have been more like perhaps she didn't like that I was born like Gumby, flexible. While I never made the cheer leading squad, too shy then and not loue enough, I was the lead reindeer in the Christmas dance performance. Lead dork reindeer to her. I've reconnected with a lot of junior high and high school friends. Mostly pleasant experiences. Ceci email telling me how happy she was for me that I got out and did what I was saying I would since junior high was a comfort that I had indeed followed my heART. Inevitably my bully showed up as "someone you may know" on facebook. It was interesting but it made my stomach churn. Memories came rushing back of her insistance of trying to make me feel unworthy. I now know at thirty-five that she felt inadequate. Projected onto me. Something we all do at one point or another, project that is not bully. ;-) I remember getting to high school and not having a single friend. Not long after I won a pageant and all of the sudden walking into building B was accessible and yet I no longer wanted to. The first day of high school Desiree, whom I've known since elementary, looked at me admitting neither one of us had friends or a car so while trying to hide the fact that we had to walk, we did. She reminded me of this the other day when we chatted at her house in Austin. She has been a huge blessing in Austin and has not only help make this new beginning transition smoother but constantly lights the path. Some people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. The season people may come to water you and help you grow. The reason people may show up and dry you out to show you just how strong your roots are regardless of lack of showers of love. The lifetime people they water you, care for you in your drought, help you strengthen your roots and stand aside and let you bask in the sunlight when the time comes. The great thing about the lifetime people is they are willing to repeat this with you over and over as the seasons change. Till your lifetime people arrive find comfort in the perks of being a wallflower. Like me you may be blessed to witness so much you will understand that self care is the way to lifetime people and that your seed will turn into a flower if you plant your roots in love. Forgetting the teasing of the t-shirts or anything else that made them feel I held individuality. After all the greatest feeling and success for me comes in blooming into a flower like no other. A rare flower never seen. A wallflower that found its way to centerstage thanks in part to the people who not only made fun of my t-shirts but the girl who tried to beat me up because she thought I liked her boyfriend, or the girl that threatened me everyday in high school at my locker or the man who called me a bitch everytime he saw me. To them I say thank you for helping me find my voice, plant my roots in safe grounds and truly know what a gift it was to not be seen by you. On that path you taught me that I had to be my own hero, bask in my own light. May you find your heroism too. BE YOUR OWN KING ON YOUR OWN TERMS! ;-)

The sounds of my healing.

This past week I previewed the documentary with a few people. My friend Jennifer sent me such a beautiful raw email it compelled me to tell her all about the music that got me through the growth. I am no stranger to the ways in which God communicates with me. A timely song, a movie, the words of friend, and a perfect hike are all ways in which I can clearly hear someone I can't see communicate with me. So in 2011 when it all started to shift the moment I heard this song tears filled my eyes as I could see how God was asking me to do something we all do without a second thought. However now I would be required to work on it. To truly breathe so I could get through this. So I did just that and before I knew someone sang a song at a friend's brunch and there was God, my dad, Neil, grandpa and all my angels saying we got you. We will rescue you when you feel you need it and it's okay to feel like you need to be rescued. More than anything I felt God was telling me to let go of my superwoman complex. That everyone needs to be rescued once in a while. So I let go and allowed myself to be rescued in the words of a friend. With the seasons changing came the strength I thought I would never acquire again. It gave me the ability to pack up my place, put in storage and go home for Christmas and when I went back to Los Angeles I pounded the streets of Los Feliz with the song blaring in my ears as I took walks building up strength for what was coming. I had finally started to grow stronger. This strength that took me through four months of uncertainity in Los Angeles redirected me Austin and with it I made a drive across the states back to the place that had given me one of the greatest gifts, my art. Here I began to do what I had not been able to since Neil transitioned. I started to run again and loose myself in the beauty of town lake and I could clearly hear God telling me that I was indeed once again a strong fighter. As I struggled to keep up the good fight and not become a victim of the current circumstances and people's lack of self love being projected onto me I had to go somewhere I am not comfortable going. I had to get angry. The good kind of angry. The angry that allowed me to see that my chosen father was right with a boot pressed up against my neck I would not be able to do all of the above. That if 2011 had not made me a victim of circumstance than there was no way I would let the words of fear embodied by those I love and thrown my way on a daily basis to get the best part of me. They where not going to break my soul with their sticks and stones in form the form of fear. Knowing this led me to cross path with a man who did what no one had during this shift I and many people have been living in different forms. He looked me in the eye without an ounce of poor you and told me that I had allowed myself to become I victim and that with him I was there to push past the pain. He cuts me no slack and if he feels sorry for me doesn't show it. I needed that. The only way I could get to this place today and not be destroyed was by breathing, being rescued, growing stronger, keeping up the fight, and being ready to fight back and not let anyone or anything take the best part of me, my soul. Music is amazing! No words can truly capture my gratitude for how it always gently guides me into the light. This caterpillar will emerge on God's time when the season is right. In my heart I know the current man in my life is the final piece of the puzzle not so gently but necessarily guiding me back to myself and into the what next. I needed to be here just as I am to be able to understand and accept the crossing of my path with his. A minute to soon and I may have given up. I can clearly see how all my yesterdays where guiding me into today. May you find the meaning in your journey and the ability to...

As I prepare to rise...

I see clearly what is happening. I see how God is working, its magic, as usual, so that I can come out on the other side becoming more than I thought I could be. I kept hearing that I needed to sign up for something. There was a part of my life that had been unattended but I attributed to not having time, funds or whatever excuse I told myself to not face the fear of how weak this may prove me to be if I stepped into it. What has come up a lot and you will see in the documentary is, balance. I believe I strive to strike a balance between my spiritual side and my human being side. Sometimes as I have learned the balance gets thrown off and it takes the clear signs from God and the universe to show me that I need to even the scales to get me to the place I need to in order to work through whatever needs balance restored. This time it took some unexpected experiences and some inspiration from the most unlikely of places to focus on striking a balance. You may not picture me as a girl who would not only fall in love with Snow White and the Huntsmen but be also be inspired by it but I am. Any story that includes the light being born of the darkness is definitely for me. Not matter how long you try and hide the light up in a tower it will prevail. Or in a cell.So add the recent Batman to my inspiration. Elizabeth the Golden Age and even Katy Perry's documentary are also sources of inspiration to approach the beautifield of life after all I have been through. I never knew how powerful those words were till recently. It was in watching the leaves fall at zilker botanical gardens that I realized just how much re-telling the story had affected certain parts of my life. It became apparent how much I struggled to let go of 2011 and it wasn't till I crossed paths with a particular man that I realized I'd made myself a victim of it. Not in all ways of course as my documentary will showcase but in this particular way, which I will some day reveal and which he forms a part of. When he looked me in the eyes and said "okay so you let your _____ become a victim of it. Time to move on and push through the fears", I knew exactly what God was doing. I had felt a gut instinct recently that the rise is nearing and the signs confirmed it. Something that may only make sense to me but logically as we know by law of gravity what goes down must come up. What I know goes beyond logic. It was in watching a rough cut of my doc that I saw so clearly what I could not process as well when I lived it as I can now. The darkness as I call it, had shown up repeatedly to test me as I already knew. That is why each time no matter how defeated I may have felt or allowed my spirit to feel I got up. What I wasn't making then is a connection I can clearly see now. In order to be ready to move forward I must be ready and do what is asked of me. This time I must connect mind, body and spirit. One of which had been left out for quite a while. If I want to take flight as high as I am being asked to I must train. I can't just expect to get up and take such altitudes without preparation. So when he yells at me "Don't stop Adriana. I don't care if you have to pace yourself but don't ever stop." I can clearly connect it all. I also know that if I stopped and fell he'd be the first to catch me, which is why I secretly smile when he says, "Good I expected you to puke. Puke on them and move on. Don't stop. You are here to push past the pain. You are not a victim." I smile because I clearly see the light and hear God. So from fear I am rising. I am growing in a new direction while a connection is being made. I am rising from all I have lost to all I am have been and will continue to gain due to the loss and space created. As I ask myself "who I am living for/", I know the answer is you, me and the human spirit. Now I get that my body nor my mind will keep me from being ready for the flight. As my chosen father reminds me, retreat mija yes but only to come back stronger, and so the preparation continues.

Breaking the pattern. Let it begin with me.

Nietzsche was quoted as having said "Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one." I am very aware that I am neither a saint nor perfect, which is why I too can become a monster if I choose ego over love. My ability to stand firmly in my belief that love is the answer has been severely tested in the past few months and yet love prevailed. I grew up with verbal abuse but I was too used to it to know how to stop being the target. In my teenage years being told I was ugly was such a part of my life it became normal and ultimately my truth. I was too young to understand that people project their self talk onto others and that I shouldn't take it personal. Flash forward to today and I have the tools to break the pattern. Tools that for two months straight I chose to keep in their box. I kept telling myself that they needed me and that their attacks on my looks and character weren't personal. However the day I looked in the mirror and called myself ugly I knew I could no longer pretend their verbal abuse was water off a duck's back. What I had at thirty-five that I didn't as a child was awareness. I also have a recovery program called Al Anon and an amazing support group that understands and can genuinely identify with what I am growing through. I had made a decision to not reach out but the moment had finally come. I had to take my ten years of Al Anon and four of therapy and apply them. If I chose to stay silent I would be the only one who would pay the price. You see when someone is in denial that they have a disease they are also in denial that their way of communicating is negative and verbal abuse. I understand I can not make anyone see something from my perspective but I also know I can't stand in the crossfire and wonder how I got hit. The time had come to break the pattern and to let it begin with me. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I stood up to my bully. I want nothing more than to get along but not at the expense of my well being. Even if it breaks my heart. Yet I knew I had to be strong or they would all over again take the best part of me as I was slowly allowing them too. It's not the first and maybe not the last time someone won't accept me just as I am but I love me just as I am. As hard as I tried to not be affected by the attacks on my character calling me a looser/mooch and told to f off, it saddened me. What truly saddened wasn't the name calling but that having the ability to go there means not only that they are caught up in their disease but that they have allowed the darkness to embody them. My program has taught me that all I can do is trust that my higher power, God, is taking care of them too. I trust so much I have made a painful yet necessary decision to not speak to them till they are sober. Breaking a behavioral pattern of any kind requires faith and courage and I summoned it. This doesn't mean I don't love them. On the contrary. I don't like their actions but I love them enough to know making this decision will help them more in the long run than me standing as a willing target in the crossfire of verbal abuse. In the end I thank them because when my self love was put to the test I ended passing, even if it took longer than I hoped. There's something I have to say to you darkness. It breaks my heart that they allow you to embody them but you should know, you never win. In the end the light prevails! I love me and you can't change that no matter how hard you try. I love you for making me the woman I am today. Without I wouldn't know the value of the light. I'm lovely! Just as I am. To my chosen father thank you for reminding me that I can't breathe with a boot positioned on my neck. To my chosen brother thank you for being there the day the storm hit and to my sponsor thank you for always listening. To all of you thank you for seeing me so BEAUTIFULLY!

Finding forgiveness in being a woman of faith.

There are plenty of situations in life which test my faith and which have pushed me to the edge. At the edge when I fall I always fall into the arms of God. I wish I could give you a logical explanation like I grew up in Catholic School. I actually went for a year and got kicked out of Father Yermo for standing up to my bully. I wish I could tell you I read the bible and that is where my faith and relationship with God comes from. Truth is I tried to read it when my mom gifted me the new testament in my late teens but I felt it had too much finger pointing towards the female so I never finished it. My truth is life, its challenges and beauty have crafted the relationship I have with a God of my understanding and consequently my faith. Last week someone was upset with me and I with them. In our discussion they told me I wasn't Catholic enough and that this country had ruined me with its support of independent women. Sometimes, like this one, I hear things that hold no logic in my world words abandon me. I truly didn't know what to say. I don't believe in my heart that reading the bible often or going to church makes someone a good person. Sure it can help but for me the bottom line lies in my God instinct aka my gut. If I want to sleep peacefully at night I must always, no matter what, try as best as I can to follow its guidance. I'm not attempting perfection but I am attempting to live a life under the principle of do unto others as you would want done to you. I was gifted a family full of teachers who constantly put me to the test. I can see so clearly why I stand where I do today. Pun intended. ;-) If I don't stand for something I run the danger of falling for anything. I have also been gifted an extraordinary life full of challenges that birth miracles. I can remember as if it was yesterday being in my room crying over the fact that two of my commercials would not air, punching my pillow in anger while questioning God's will. In my whaling I recall saying "how much more can I give? I've given you all." Since 2006 those words have not come out of my mouth. Sure I haven't loved every lesson but I've stayed present enough to see their gifts and the greatest one has been my faith. Within six months of uttering those words I was nominated for the award I went on to win for The Art of Being. A production which finally saw the light after two years of contemplation because of the unaired commercials and my frustration catapulting me to go for it. As I began to reflect on all that led me there in 2006 my awareness kicked in. The signs did in fact connect and ultimately wove a pattern so beautiful, magical and beyond human comprehension that for me it had to be God. As I reflected on my past I saw clearly how faithful I'd always been and now I was aware of it. I'd wake up and go about my day never knowing I'd make it through but always having faith I would. Since there are no guarantees I exercise faith everyday, whether I am aware or not. That combined with my awareness of what God and the universe are constantly conjuring up to continue weaving an amazing life for me (and you) is what has made me such a faithFULL person. I just couldn't have imagined that one day I'd have to find forgiveness in being a woman of faith. It has been brought to my attention that my faith is scary. Considering I'm the only one whose a recovering perfectionist people often take my inventory and point out their view of my flaws. I keep reminding myself to check the source because after all people see the world as they are not as it is. I'm not waiting for one of my favorite men and my brother commonly known as the son of God, Jesus, to come and physically guide me into the what next. But I sure as heck am counting on him, our father, the saints and this scientifically magical powerful universe to conjure up something extraordinary out of all my loss and I won't sell my self unworthy till that moment comes so I guess that is what is viewed as scary. Still having faith that all that unfolded in 2011 and led to this beautiful present could still be a miracle in progress. Perhaps it's best suited that I face reality and by that I am well aware that they mean their reality. I can't face something I don't see therefore God, Jesus, Saints, and universe oh and the angels too I ask your forgiveness for having so much faith in you also known as the unseen. When it comes to this matter I'm going to not only have to side with Emerson and his belief that everything he had seen had taught him to trust the creator for everything he had not seen but with my life experience. Nothing in my book of life, which I am co-writing is in vain. If I desire to wait patiently till the present is ready to reveal its gift I know all of you magical unseen forces are going to leave me, and everyone, with our jaws wide open at your magic. Magic that could only be brewed by you. I stand by you because I know you stand by me! This I believe! I know you know but just to be clear I am aware that I am already living the what next and that every moment is precious. I AM GRATEFUL to be a woman of faith! Ready for take off when you are. Love! Your faithFULL daughter, Adri

The falling of the leaves.

Lately on my runs I have been very aware of the leaves falling and yesterday as I visited the botanical gardens for some relaxation it became very clear that the seasons are changing. It feels like I just arrived in Austin to inferno like heat and now the winds of change have brought a morning breeze with them on my runs. Something I welcome very much. It is common for people to think that this breeze gently takes the leaves with them. Upon watching them fall around me and on me I did some research. It turns out that in order for a tree to survive the leaves must go otherwise at some point they freeze and can no longer provide the tree with the nutrients it needs in order to survive. It turns out these leaves have scissors on them that can be seen with a microscope, which they use to let go. This is my interpretation of what I read in simplest terms. ;-) It got me thinking me because I kept feeling on my runs and walk at botanical garden like God and the universe were using them to tell me something. On my walk through the gardens en route to the butterfly garden it hit me. My leaves are falling so new nutrients can come in and nourish me in the present. No need for the old leaves as they are part of my past. Hence if I don't cut them loose and let them go I won't be able to nourish myself in the present with all the nutrients it has to offer. If I keep those leaves they will freeze and freeze me with them. In simplest terms if I want to grow I MUST LET GO. I had a vision on my run of old leaves attached to me weighing me down and as I progressed and picked up speed I let them go. I must admit it also came with a F-U fear as I finished the run. You see I've had a lot of nervous energy this week and I have made myself stay in it doing things to work my way through it like the walk I took where this blog was written in the butterfly garden. Trying hard to decipher things has caused my nervous energy and on my walk I was reminded to trust. Above all trust the process and the plan. Don't try to understand everything just know that everything does and will eventually make sense. Most of all trust God has my back. Which brings me to this, I must trust that cutting off the leaves of the past will bring to fruition, on God's time, leaves with all the nutrients necessary for me to face the present. I must let 2011 and all its gifts go so that I can see all 2012 has gifted me. So I can allow the new leaves to settle in and feed me their love. And if I let go, open my heart so my eyes can see, clearly already the gifts are amazing!!! It's hard to say goodbye to Neil and my father. I have done it repeatedly always afraid that somehow I will forget them but yesterday it really hit me. They gave me Austin, they gave me the faith to keep dancing and I believe they still continue to root for me and want what is best for me. I whole heartedly believe my father can now do what he never could while he was alive and has done so. But it's time. It's time to cut the leaves, see them fly away and let new leaves be born. I need nutrients for the present. So just for today I will take it easy on myself as I cut away and await the new leaves. I will leave all thoughts of the 2011 leaves for the edit bay and feed my soul from what life is gifting now. It really is the taste of sweet American Honey I am fed now and I want to fully take it in. In my heart I know it's just the beginning for this autumn tree blooming in its new home. I won't waste time worrying if the new leaves will be able to feed me like the past ones have. I will just trust they will and that they will be the remedy in this new season of my life being brought into fruition by this beautiful fall that is dancing its way into my life. P.S. at 3:39 I encourage you to belt it with conviction. Fear isn't very fond of conviction. ;-)

Don't stop believing. Hold on to that feeling!

This pretty much sums up my beliefs. Ever since I learned to decipher the signs and follow them I also learned that it depended on me trusting something to be able to see them. I choose to call it God and the universe because it made sense to me. I have concluded in my thirty five years of experience and growth as Adriana Garza in human existence that if my heart is open I can see the magic of this existence and go beyond what my eyes can see. When I first discovered this I was always wanting others to see it because I wanted them to be open to seeing the gifts in their life as well that the magic was conjuring up just for them. I couldn't get them to be where they weren't meant to be and in the process what I mostly conjured up were people concerned by my beliefs. I have heard things like "your beliefs worry me", or "I was afraid you had gotten stuck in character and thought you were Athena", the Witch of Portobello I portrayed in my film based on that novel. No I did not get stuck in character but her and I were so similar it was effortless to portray her. My beliefs shouldn't worry anyone cause all they have done is help me believe in this unpredictable thing called life. This beautiful beautiful sometimes inexplicable, when I think too deep, existence. If time has afforded me anything it's the ability to be more present in who I am and what I believe. I may keep it more to myself now but I also believe more. I know we are all here to teach eachother and to learn from eachother. I would much rather learn from others how to keep the faith and not stop believing than how to believe everything sucks and has no meaning. That desire has made it easier to accept someone not wanting me in there life even though blood and distance has brought us closer. I know I tried and I know they tried but in the end timing is not right just yet. And if life has taught me anythiing, especially my ten years in Al Anon, is to take care of me even if others think I'm a you know what for doing it. I could assume some believed my move to Texas was about me letting go of my sometimes called silly, or too old for me dream(s) of mine. The thing is this dream of mine that scares some is not my dream waiting to be seen, it is my calling taking me on a beautiful journey showing me how to grow in faith, strength, courage, love and many more weapons I choose to arm myself with to be present on the beautifield of life. So no being in Texas does not mean I will go to Harvard like my uncle, or Notre Dame like my grandpa's brother or get serious about my life because I am, have been and will be very serious about this precious, fragile yet amazingly beautiful gift called life! No matter what others fears allow them to perceive. It is after all my life, "go ahead with your own life." ;-) Signs had been pointing somewhere and looking backwards I had connected the dots.I had so much faith that Alison to Michael to Pam meant Coco Latino Award which meant I could finish the documentary, which is stuck in post. I would like to sastify the wolves appetite and say I was wrong but I wasn't. I found out that out of thirteen people my entry for the award based on "And She Danced, Life after loss" did not make the top two and therefore is no longer in the running for the 10,000 that would have truly been a gift to AG Productions and allowed the documentary to be finished on my time. However if Rudy Ruttiger taught me anything as I watched the film on his life when I was sixteen it was that prayers are answered on God's time. I am so beyond grateful that seed was the one I have chosen to water over the years no matter how many choose to have their nearby, blood related gardens plant seeds of fear and spend an entire lifetime with a lot of hoses gardening as if it was a farm growing False Evidence Appearing Real. I know that I can not make anyone see what the signs mean for my life. I am grateful I got that. Truly am!! Anyone who flips through my iphone pics would probably think, wow she loves to save her notes from the universe, pandora songs, daily om's, quotes and take pics of nature. The truth is I love to take pictures of the signs, look back on them, connect the dots and be humbled by God and the universe's magic. I will never forget sitting at an outdoor cafe in Rome with Bev and saying "I wonder how God does it. How do they know precisely when you need something to be seen or heard and how do they make it possible through a song, person etc?" I questioned this after my film's premiere in Rome and mediatating on the journey that led me there. So today as I wake to find that the signs have yet to reveal the magic, (or do they?), and that I will not be winning the Coco Latino Award as I had envisioned and deciphered, I am able to see what the magic in this deciphering of signs was about and it is Pam Koslov. I have met people who have seen me at my best, winning awards, a car, flipping through GLAMOUR spotting me, seeing me being named the Latin Star to watch by Latin Star Magazine in 2009 and believed in me. Or as I see it believed in what they could see. Few are those who walk into your life during the journey not the destination and BELIEVE in you while you have been asked to leave most of your possessions and life as you knew it behind and knock on doors till the one with all the magic I know exists swings wide open and reveals the magic of the universe. Few are the people who listen to my beliefs and say I BELIEVE. Then fewer are the people who SHOW you they believe. Pam asked me to enter the award competition after seeing my documentary's trailer and knowing me for two months and being in my physical presence for two days. She saw what God had created and didn't try to mold me into anything else but instead asked who she saw to step up and continue dancing. Turns out that was the magic of 8-13-2012 which later became 8-15-2012. I had visions of her walking up with me to get my award with Zoey and my sister Ivonne as well as Bev by my side. I know better than to let those visions go. I know that God, Neil and my dad are busy smiling because I trust in them more than what I can see. They know that I know that they are lining up people, causing synchronicity and preparing me and all who stand by me for the precise moment that "And She Danced, Life after loss" is ready to dance into the lives of people. As usual not a minute too soon or a minute too late but precisely at the exact moment God and the universe reveal their magic, God's time. Pam I feel like this may have been harder for you than me so to you I say, I honor you for choosing to see me, guide me and encourage me. Ten grand would have been nice but in the end it's just paper. You on the other hand, fed my soul, fueled my engine, strengthened my conviction and reminded me to never stop believing. As I had said, you WILL walk the film festival carpet with me. On God's time you WILL be by my side and I will ask you to do with me what I did before I started to walk the red carpet in Rome with Paulo Coelho. Look up, smile and express gratitude. I had said "you all knowing always knowing what you are doing. Look at you. Look at your magic." This time we will look up thank God, the universe, your dad, my dad, Neil and be grateful we never stopped believing. This I promise because all bets are on God and the universe. YOU are the magic of the connection of the dots and I AM GRATEFUL! This is just the beginning for these small town girls...the dance continues..... May faith be your guide and may you never stop believing that God's gifts and the universe's magic can exceed your dreams!