In Gratitude for everything is how I've learned to live my life!

After all I have had to get done in the past few days I told myself I would not turn on the computer today. I would just lay around in bed. Something I never do as most mornings consist of me logging in very early and heading out to hike by 7am. I love to start my morning with a hike as I get in touch with everything I believe in up there. Some people go to church, I go hike. However today I was going to do things differently. Okay so it didn't quite work out that way but when you are inspired to write you just have to. I did skip the hike but here I am typing away...in my pjs. ;-)

I woke up in Gratitude not only because of the day it is but because it is the way I have come to live my life. About almost four years ago all the work I had done in therapy became organic and that meant awareness became a part of my life. From that moment on I have lived in gratitude for everything with awareness. Not that I didn't have gratitude before but I hadn't truly learned how to be grateful for the challenges. The other day I posted on my facebook a thought I woke up with that morning, "Adriana Garza woke up thinking about how every challenge brings me closer to my friends and family and allows me to grow in LOVE. So for every road block or detour I say thank you for it has brought me closer to you!" That pretty much sums up how I view life these days.

I could sit here and go on on about everything on my plate and how hard things can be or I can adapt an attitude of gratitude, which I do only because organically I have come to see how beautiful each moment in life is and what it brings me usually outweighs the challenge. Gratitude my friends can not be faked. It comes from truly understanding what a gift it is to have been able to wake this morning take a breath and head over here to share Thanksgiving with you even if its through cyberspace. One of the things I am incredibly grateful for and I never thought I would be.

I used to think technology was distancing people. I mean with my friends growing more and more comfortable with texting and emailing I was beginning to be saddened by the fact that they used that as their main form of communication. What happened to getting together for face to face time? I got over that as soon as my play hit the road in 2007 and we used the internet as our main tool of promotion. I can not tell you how many AMAZING beautiful people I met because of it. People like Jen Marie and Darice who are my friends until this day. Most recently I met Eric Schwartz and Jason Mraz because of the internet. Because of Jason's kindness I went on to meet Sarah, Kim, Rosie, Michelle, Leah, Andi, Danielle, and many other beautiful souls. Let's not forget the amazing journey that was born because of the internet, The Experimental Witch
. I have come to see what a huge advantage it is to be able to log on and connect to someone on the other side of the world. It is also how I met my friend Maggie in London and how I am able to keep in touch with my beautiful friend Silke in Germany. So today I am very grateful for the internet!

My list of gratitude is endless! I am grateful for my breath, my sight, my legs, existence, love, compassion, the challenges, the fun times, this computer even if it keeps giving me problems, ;-) my life, my car, my friends, my family, my lovers past and present. Well actually present would currently only consist of Juan who makes appearances with me in my we are what we do videos. Meet him here!

I really could go on forever! However today I will focus on the present moment. Right now I am being given the opportunity to LIVE some serious and fun journeys. I am grateful for both. GLAMOUR has asked me to host The GLAMOUR Magazine Canon Ball Holiday Party
in LA. They contacted me Monday wanting me to put it all together by December 4th. By Monday evening I had one musical act and a venue. By Tuesday I had another musical act and then Eric agreed to co host with me! It all came together pretty quickly. I felt a bit of pressure to put on a great event with such short notice but I agreed and immediately became grateful that not only did GLAMOUR trust me with it I was also being given the opportunity to give voice to that which I love. GREAT music and the holidays!! I was able to get Gaby Moreno
who just opened up for Ani DiFranco and Tracy Chapman to grace us with her BEAUTIFUL voice! Her singing is truly effortless! Then I got The Makepeace Brothers!
I am in love with their music and undeniable talent! All topped off by Eric aka SMOOTHE
agreeing to Co Host with me.




This lead to me having immense gratitude for the opportunity to celebrate the holidays with my friends in a very fun way courtesy of GLAMOUR and Canon even if I already have my acting career, producing duties, UNICEF duties, and gratitude birthday dinner to tend to. As mother Teresa says, "I know God doesn't give me anything I can't handle I just wish he didn't trust me so much!" ;-) So for this and my current UNICEF duties I am grateful!

I am in the middle of securing talent for our UNICEF fundraiser and I have no idea how this will unfold. I am the head of the fundraiser but there are five of us who have to agree on line up and the UNICEF headquarters in NY has to do background checks and approve the talent. I am going after one particular person as headliner because they have shown me in many ways that their beliefs actually line up with UNICEF's and for me that is HUGE! I don't want anyone who thinks it would look good for their image or for publicity purposes. I want someone who is being the change they wish to see in the world. Jason is doing just that and I'd be honored if he agreed. I haven't given up hope because if life has taught me one thing it's that MIRACLES ARE BORN OF FAITH AND THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! I can't control how this will unfold but I can sure as heck try, by doing the footwork, to ensure a human being of value, integrity, and talent is attached and that is in the end what I am fighting for as I try to attach Jason. So for the ability to do so, as tiring as it can get, I am GRATEFUL! The venue is coming along very well and I think when headquarters arrives in LA Monday to tour everything with us they will be pleased to see how much we have accomplished since our training in NY never forgetting that what we are fighting for are the children and the UNICEF Tap Project!

As you can see I have a lot to be grateful for! The life I get to live truly is beautiful but I have a hand in doing so by being able to accept that without seeing the beauty in the challenges and being grateful for them I wouldn't be here today. The other day I received this in my Daily God affirmation, "On this day, God wants you to know that today you have a cause for celebration. Today, you should celebrate what an unbelievable life you have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make you stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Take a time to acknowledge your life and to praise yourself." Amen to that.

I don't want to keep you here forever so I will part with expressing Gratitude for those who sometimes feel it the least, my family. It has been said that we hurt those we love the most. I think the hurt has been felt on both sides. One conclusion I have come to is that neither they or I are wrong in wanting what we want. I want to be me and be loved unconditionally while I make my own choices, live my own life, and learn my lessons that ultimately shape me and build my character. Some of my family wants me to be in less pain, and have their idea of a life well lived. Like I said neither one of us is wrong we just want different things. I struggle because what I like the least in life is hurting others! Trust me I always try to avoid that at all costs and anyone who knows me knows that about me but when the cost of not hurting others is hurting me than I can't do it. So to my family I say I mean no disrespect I am just honoring myself and being me! If you for one second think I am not grateful for you think again! Mom thank you for putting me in ballet at such a young age and helping me build my passion for the arts. To my brothers and sisters thank you for being you! In return you have shown me I have the right to be me! To my step dad thank you for putting up with my mom and her SEVEN kids! WOW! And lastly to my real dad wherever you are thanks for being a huge part of why I came into existence. You know I am grateful for your paths crossing for that gave way to Mercedes and I coming into existence! If you look at life through God's eyes and with LOVE I am sure you too will have lots to be grateful for.

Meet the people I am honored to call family and now go hug yours and tell them you love them. Mine is in Monterrey, Mexico baptizing the latest addition to our ever expanding clan and for missing it I am so bummed but for Joaquin's existence I am so grateful! I have my own celebrating to do soon, my 33rd birthday gratitude dinner with my Los Angeles family is Sunday and for them I am ETERNALLY grateful!

All seven kids in order from oldest to youngest.

With my sister and parents back home in Austin.

This is too funny! Like father like daughter. I sit just like my step dad!

Once upon a time we were great together and for that I am grateful!!


"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." Cicero HAPPY GRATITUDE DAY and may this day lead by example and to being in gratitude year round!

Magical Rome parte quattro. The lingering effects of a magical city! Fin.

Words truly can't describe and do justice to how beautiful Rome is. I have been to four cities in Europe and Rome is definitely my favorite. While the Rome Film Festival brought me there the city kept me there long after the premiere of our film was over. I had seen it in films and pictures but seeing it in person is something else. Although I went with my friend Bev and hung out with Jessica it still seems to me to be a very romantic city and maybe one day I'll experience it that way.

There truly was never a bad or unattractive place in sight. Wherever I turned I saw beauty and as much as this may have to do with me choosing to see beauty based on how I see life it also has to do with the fact that it is ANCIENT ROME! Take a look at these pictures. I was mesmerized by the sky in Rome so much I was constantly trying to frame my pictures around it.



I took over 800 pictures and made an album with 178. It was hard to narrow it down that much but I did it. You can take a look at all my pictures by clicking here

I took in the city and can honestly say I was fully present. UNICEF knew I'd be gone so anything relating to them waited until my return as did emailing with friends. I did a mass email to let everyone know how well the premiere went, did occasional updates on facebook but pretty much tried to stay away from the computer. Mostly because I wanted to be in ROME and nowhere else and well because the young man at the internet cafe was very persistent that I go out with him. It is true what they say about Italian men, they do come on strong. ;-) He told me in front of Bev what a great lover he was. Not sure who that works with but not with this lady. I laughed it off and went on about enjoying all the beauty my eyes witnessed.

From Fontana Trevi, to Ancient Rome to the Vatican and then some. We did it all! Bev had not been there in over twenty years so she was willing to do all I wanted to do again. ;-) One day we met up with Jessica and had lots of fun walking in the rain while heading to Strega Cafe meaning Witch Cafe, which was perfectly fitting as we were there for The Witch of Portobello/The Experimental Witch premiere. En route there we stopped at Fontana Trevi of course we splashed ourselves in water at hoping for soulmates. ;-) Take a look at girls just having fun.


For me one of the surprises Rome treated me to was an unexpected friendship which has me thinking of the lingering effects of that magical city. If you have read my blogs you know all about the journey that led me there
and the experience of the film's premiere but what you don't know is what I was not expecting at all and that which has come to be. I expected to see Paulo, take in the city, witness the film with an audience and be grateful at all times for what I was blessed to be living. What I did not expect was to set eyes on Alex and consider him one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen.

I have to point out that he is extremely talented as well and it was obvious when his work was seen on screen as part of the final film. What has caught me off guard the most was that I can talk to him and we speak the same language. It is very interesting and comforting to sit with someone in my age range male who I can openly converse with about my beliefs and him about his. I found this out as he came to Los Angeles from Europe and we got to hang out allowing us get to know eachother better. I hope and pray that no matter how far away he is this is just the beginning of our friendship. Honestly all I can do is trust that if our paths are meant to cross again they will. My time with him reminded me to expect the unexpected because it truly is in what the unknown brings that magic lies.

Today as I move forward into the unknown leaving magical Rome behind and work my way through the uncertainty of what comes next for me, I know one thing surely is true for me because of everything I have lived. I have grown to be comfortable in the discomfort the darkness of walking my way through the unknown brings. All I have lived has taught me that magic truly lies in the most unlikely of places. Most of all I'd like to never forget that I ended up in Magical Rome because I didn't give me up for the limited love my boyfriend at the time had to offer. I stood by me knowing God was always with me. I feel the need to leave you with this quote hoping it'll help you work your way through the unknown into the beauty of your very own creation intended just for you. "Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual; you have the OBLIGATION to be one. You can not make any useful contribution in life unless you do so." From the very wise Eleanor Roosevelt. Now go on and summon your courage to live your way through the unknown into YOUR magical life, it's awaiting you!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog, Magical Rome, to bring you Life on Life's terms. Inspired by my hike.

Hiking is where I go center myself and get in touch with all that I believe in. It is there in the beautiful hills of Runyon that I planned out The Art of Being and received guidance and encouragement from God and the universe to go forth. Same thing happened when it came time to do The Experimental Witch. In the beautiful surroundings of those hills I find myself in awe of just how mysterious and beautiful life is. I see it in the birds that fly above at just the precise moment, the butterfly that appears on cue to let me know a particular metamorphisis has come to an end and it's time to fly, and the trees whose roots, heights and width amaze me upon entering. This is where I came up with my birthday dinner for this year. An homage to my friends aka LA family I have chosen to call "A grateful for you & being alive 33rd bday dinner." So I went in search of a picture to express this on google images and received an amazing result. Take a look.

I fell so in love with this picture it became my profile picture on twitter, facebook, and blogger.

While I hiked this morning I felt such a sense of overwhelming gratitude because of how full my life truly is. It made me think about how true it has proven to be for me that what you believe is what you create. Sure there will always be circumstances that are out of my control but for the most part when I believe something with all my heart and soul I manifest it but the magical thing is the universe prompted by God help the manifestation of it be a thousand times more than what I dreamed! Something my beautiful friend Sheri Magid reminded me of last night in a conversation. She has known me for thirteen years and was telling me how much she appreciates what I manifest and in the process helped me grow in gratitude, love you Sher! Which is why this morning I stood at my usual place on my hike and conversed with God and the universe my gratitude prayer was pretty long. I expressed gratitude for every ounce of my being from my toes to my heart to my breath to what I get to live. I went on for quite a while all while listening to the usual,A thousand roads from A thousand roads soundtrack
, which also happens to be the song I dance to at the end of the film below not what you hear onscreen. It was Lisa Gerrard's work from a film called A Thousand Roads so we couldn't use it.


As I finished my prayer turned away from the edge of the cliff and the sun I saw her. She couldn't have been more than fifteen and she was taking her walk. Her beautiful bald head gave away what such a young soul has been through already. As I approached her she seemed pretty healthy and as she passed me I sent her all my love and envisioned myself hugging her. As if on cue, no coincidence, a beautiful bird flew above us while showcasing the half exposed moon between two streaks of clouds. It was truly breathtaking and I knew God was letting me know it/he/she had it. I picture God to be nothing but LOVE so I knew this was God simply reminding me that it is always present even when it appears to not be the case.

Then the songs on my ipod began to remind me of all I've been through and all we all go through, the tie that binds us together which we can't escape being human and what I like to call Life on Life's terms. For me one of the few certainties of life is that it will happen on its terms and the only thing that truly matters is how we react to what happens. So as Heart of the Matter by India Arie came on I thought about how a year ago I was told by the man I thought to be my soul mate that he was now married and living in LA. A year later we are both showcasing our film's at film festivals and the universe has not crossed our paths and for that I am grateful. I am thrilled to be in a place a year later where I can see how he is doing and have fond memories of my former ally. The man whose belief in me prompted to go forth and create great things as he told me he awaited them from me and I from him. I am happy to report that as I was in Rome he was winning an award from a film festival for best director for his debut feature, so the universe may no longer cross our paths but we have both gone on to continue to bring to fruition what we shared with eachother. That brings me more happiness then having him in my life the way I used to could. My point being that no matter what we all go through time truly heals all wounds and reveals their purpose. WIth patience we are able to see this at least I truly have. ;-)

I may never know what her wound's purpose was but I trust that she will be taken care of and guided on her journey. I trust all of us are! I don't think we can ever keep eachother from our journey's and experiencing life on life's terms. The most we can do is offer a listening ear. Something I've seen is very hard to do since we usually want to see those we love happy therefore we try to fix but most of the time I've come to understand listening makes someone feel seen not fixing. It takes from the person's journey, its lessons, and their growth. So whatever her name is and no matter how heartbreaking it was for me to see her head that way I trust she will gain some amazing lessons from life on life's terms.

Life's lessons have given me the HUGE blessing of comprehending that humanity is equality! Something I believe so strongly I had a shirt made which I wore to my hike this morning.

It's interesting to see people's faces when they read it. They range from I don't get it....

to beautiful smiles...look closely....as I took this image from google I saw it came from here, http://teamsuperforest.org/superforest/, pretty cool! Have to make time to read up on them. I really do!


What it means to me is that up there on those hikes no one is their job, car, or posessions because they only have themselves, their ipod and their pets with them. So my tshirt serves as a reminder or a planting of the seed for a thought they have never had. However for me this is my everyday life. My friends range from being CEO's of production companies to being bus boys because I see their souls and accept them for who they are. Oh and in the words of my friend Jennifer Marie, when people show you who they are trust them and I'll add have compassion for everyone is on their very own journey. My friend Delfino is just truly one of a kind! In all my years of sitting at that same corner in that restaurant in Malibu he has seen me through more than some people whose lives maintain them busy so they can gain in life but not experience life. Meet Delfino, shy Delfino. Careful if I ever get you on my flip you may end up on my blog. ;-)


YET no matter what anyone tells you or tries to sell you WE ARE ALL EQUAL UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS and in my view of the world here to help eachother live life on life's terms and that means also celebrating in eachother's triumphs. I hope you give yourself the opportunity in life to see people for who they are and revel in their beauty never forgetting that HUMANITY IS EQUALITY and that where you stand can change at any given moment and you may need someone's help someday so keep that in mind and be kind, be kind, be kind. People never forget kindess and long to forget meaness.

I feel compelled to share my God saying today believing one of you needs to hear it. "God wants you to know that how bad things may look right now means nothing, it's how good they can be with God's help that counts." In the words of one of my blessings from this blog Leah, Massallah! Which means go forth with God and may I add in LOVE for life, the universe, yourself, and others no matter what life on life's terms sends you because if you have lived life with the treat others as you you wish to be treated way you shall be able to turn in all directions and see a friend ready to hold your hand or let you rest your tired head on their shoulder. All of those people will be joining me on the 29th to celebrate LIFE in immense gratitude!

Magical Rome parte tre. The world premiere of our film La Strega di Portobello.

As I stood at the beginning of the red carpet getting ready to walk it for the first time after thirteen years in Los Angeles all I could do was smile at this BEAUTIFUL moment. Beautiful for the not so obvious reasons. Beautiful because I believed in me and never lost me and that had led me there. Beautiful because when some didn’t believe I could do this film I trusted I could even if it was my first film. Beautiful because for every one person who tried to discourage me ten showed up asking how they could be of service. BEAUTIFUL because I never stop seeing the magic in life, no matter what I live or where it takes me, it still is always magical!!!

As I glanced at Paulo giving interviews on the red carpet
, look for the silver dress, I smiled thinking WOW here we are. The man whose book the Devil and Miss Prym helped me endure the challenging three months between being selected a finalist and winner for the GLAMOUR/Toyota Moving Forward Award because everything she was living I was living at the precise moment I read it. Particularly this paragraph. Paragraph two, from page thirty four.

"She clutched the gold to her, got to her feet, feeling weak and desperate, then crouched again, replaced it in the hole and covered it with earth. She couldn't go through with it; this inability, however, had nothing to do with honesty or dishonesty, but with the sheer terror she was feeling. She had just realized two things that prevent us from achieving our dreams: believing them to be impossible or SEEING THOSE DREAMS MADE POSSIBLE BY SOME SUDDEN TURN OF THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE, WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECTED IT. For at that moment, all our fears suddenly surface: the fear of setting off along a road heading who knows where, the fear of a life full of new challenges, THE FEAR OF LOSING FOREVER EVERYTHING THAT IS FAMILIAR."

Even if you had lived those three months with me back in 2006 you still wouldn't comprehend fully what this paragraph meant to me in that moment. I will say that at that time it felt like seventy five percent of people around me didn't believe in me and twenty five did but here's the catch. I above all believed in what the universe was showing me and God was whispering. It was time and that wheel of fortune was spinning in my favor and all those fears were surfacing for when your dream starts to become a reality it is then that you truly realize how powerful you are and how much of it has to do with believing in yourself and what you know you know that ONLY YOU are being told.

Back then I would tell everyone that God had told me I was going to win because I was being guided to this and of course you can imagine I was labeled everything under the sun and most of all I remember people saying, "what is going to happen when she doesn't win?" At the end of the day I had God, my close friends to turn to, page thirty four and of course the universe guiding me allowing me to grow. Because most of all I had taken all my lessons of the past and was applying them. I had come to a place where I knew it was time and that time in my life propelled me into the unknown and the unknown has led me to being able to type this today. So as you can imagine standing on that red carpet with him made me look up at the skies and all around and acknowledge with my smile all that had led me there. Words can not be found to express the amount of gratitude I felt or what that moment was truly like for me.

Other books of his like Eleven Minutes have allowed me to hold on to my belief in unconditional requited love. The Alchemist helped me understand what it was that I was doing when at the time what seemed to be "coincidences" appeared. I was 21 when I read that book. Eleven years ago! Then of course pages 50-51 in the English version of By the River Piedra I sat and wept have stayed with me till this day. I made copies and give them to friends when they were struggling to follow their dreams. Of course if you've been reading my blogs you know what The Witch of Portobello/ La Strega di Portobello/ La Bruja de Portobello
means to me and where it lead me. I could go on forever but most of all Paulo is the man who through his talent and work allowed this witch to feel not so alone while she endured a heart ache because of who she is. The woman who now and forever will proudly call herself The Witch of Portobello.

That my dear friends is magic and I will not hide my excitement over what I live ever! The moment I do I will know I stopped believing in the beauty of life’s surprises. I was fully present in the moment and trust me nothing was going through my mind other than putting one foot in front of the other and living in the present life was gifting me. I turned to Jessica as we posed for the press at the end of the long red carpet's walk and said, "if there was ever a surreal moment this is it!" and we smiled at eachother.


Any picture you find online of me from that night no matter what site bought it or what they did with it one thing is the same in all of them, my smile is from ear to ear. I was smiling with God and the universe, I truly was! Take a look at a few.

From Brasilian magazine Caras

From LIFE magazine

Not sure were this one came from ;-)

More pictures from the film festival


These are the moments that make everything we endure worth while. The moments you realize how much influence you have on where you go in life. The key to this in my humble opinion and experience has been to surrender control. I am honest so I will say I always saw myself on the red carpet. ;-) However I never knew I would walk it at thirty two, thirteen years after being in Los Angeles fighting for my dreams or that the man whose books helped me be a warrior and stay in the game would be standing there with me. I can't make you see the magic but I sure hope you do!

I do want to mention that there was a time when all I did was read and lie dormant in my dreams only living them through books thinking of the someday, the someday I'd do it. Luckily for me life kicked me around enough to open my eyes to how active we have to be in the pursuit of our dreams and just how important it is too to know when to let go. For me it's a balance between the both. I call doing my part the footwork and the outcome I call God's will. I know I can't make anything happen that is not meant to but I also know that NO ONE can stop anything from happening that is meant to as long as you believe. ;-) Learning to accept God's will has been key for me. So now as I am coming off the high and back to my day to day life I soldier on with God as fears, of others, want to come in and be a part of my life. I will continue to stand by that which only makes sense to me and I will continue to believe in the beauty and miracles of the unexpected and the magic that lies in the unknown because Emerson taught me well a few years back when I "stumbled" upon his thought that "everything I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen." Open your eyes, listen to yourself, and you too will discover the magic of life and where it can lead you!

This is my portion of the film at the festival with Italian subtitles. Take a look at us on the big screen. I am not showing you anything you couldn't have seen online so no, no shots of the film in its entirety. ;-) You also get to see us, filmmakers, being acknowledged prior to screening. My name is last and my excitement shows!!! You can take the girl out of Texas but you can't take the Texas/dork outta me ya'll!! Oh and the credits stayed the same so my shout out to God for giving me the courage to follow the signs stayed in!

Magical Rome parte due. It's about the journey not the destination.

It's happening again. Just when I thought my body was back on Los Angeles time it's not. I've been up since 3:30am so I've given up trying to go back to sleep and instead decided to come blog because well it's due time for parte due....two to some of you and dos for others. ;-) I came back to endless emails, baby shower invites, two unread scripts for my next two productions (one is a play and one is a film I hope to shoot back home in Austin because I need a farm), and ready to continue to make my dreams come to life while still processing all I lived in magical Rome.

I also came back to the people who love me the most, mi familia. Ahhh my training ground for where I am today. The ones who unknowingly made me a warrior. All artistic by nature none by profession but me and my uncle. My mom was a ballerina at Bellas Artes in Mexico City and my uncle is a published poet in Mexico and has always run Cultural Institutes in several different cities so all seven of us kids were brought up in the arts. I was the only one who decided to make it my profession and till this day my family keeps wondering when I will get a REAL job. Recently one of my sister's was in town and while we walked through LAX she said, "You'll get it when you have a real job." Okay, let go and let God. Then she suggested I go get one at the mall by my house. Again let go and let God. The next day my mom started taking to me about going into the waitressing industry and hasn't let it go since. She suggested I do so again the day after I was back from Rome and telling her about my experience. All this was topped off by another sister who replied to my mass email from Rome sharing with my close friends and family my experience thus far and excitement of being chosen as the official image to represent the film with, "great but don't forget to ask God for money." What the? Yes the straw had broken the camel's back but wait there's a lesson in everything if we are open enough to see it. Take a look at a few publications I was featured in as the image of the film.
Movie Hits Magazine

Acchiappa Magazine

Rome Film Festival Official Book


There is one thing I know for sure and that is THAT PEOPLE SEE THE WORLD AS THEY ARE NOT AS IT IS. They worry
which of course means they are projecting their fears onto me and in their view of the world a stable nine to five job with a steady income is the way life should be lived. Are they horrible human beings for constantly making their strong opinions known? NOPE! On the contrary this is their way of showing me they care. It is. They love me and don't want to see me suffer at all. In their eyes my lack of financial stability is suffering and not worth it. They are stuck in that and can't see the magic of Rome or other moments I've lived in the past three years which is why they constantly await a moment when I will say, "Hey I'm working at Express at the mall." Not that it's a bad job because it's not but I've been there done that and I am no longer there in my life. Something they can not see or comprehend.

Basically they want to take from my journey. Unknowingly of course. They love me so much they can't comprehend why such a good person in their eyes hasn't been paid back. Their idea of paid back of course, which means a big bank account. I just have one question for them. How many people do they know who have won a car that lines up with their beliefs, hybrid, won their favorite author's film competition, and appeared in a commercial for a non-profit organization they have supported with donations and in other ways through out their life? An ad which went on to be a finalist at Cannes and win other awards while making a positive contribution to the human race. Icing on the cake! That is how I view the world so I soldier on because I see no reason not to. I really don't. Sure I wish what I invested in my play, it's tour, and my film had all come back financially but it has in other ways. Ways that gave me a satisfaction money couldn't!

But like I told Paulo yesterday in an email, "If someone offered to pay off what I owe and help me become financially stable in exchange for me giving all I have lived in the past three years back I would look the devil straight in the eye and say, "No thank you! I am standing by God because everything I have lived teaches me to trust in that which I can not see but I know on God's time will arrive and this too shall pass. I am standing by God for I know God is standing by me and no matter what things APPEAR to be like I know God has not abandoned me but is helping become the person I am intended to be!" This was part of a long personal conversation with him but this I felt I could share. ;-)

So I did something this past week which was hard but a must. I am a big believer in saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and not saying it meanly. It is so important to me! You don't need to hurt because you've been hurt. The answer does truly lie in love. For me at least. So while my mom suggested I go into the waitressing industry for the millionth time I asked her to stop. I told her that what I did took a lot of faith and courage and that not just anyone could do it. I told her I would no longer allow them to disrespect what I do for a living and therefore would no longer tolerate jokes at my expense or comments about what I should be doing. I was very firm. Towards the end I couldn't help it and the flood came rolling out of my eyes. I told her I wasn't mad at all but that enough was enough.

I had just lived an AMAZING experience and unknowingly they were taking from it so I had to put a stop to it. Which brings me to this. Life for me is always about the journey not the destination which is why I am sharing this story with you. I can post all these amazing pictures and videos and all you will see is the destination. A beautiful destination which is why I think it is very important for everyone to know that we all face challenges everyday and sometimes they are very close to home. I LOVE MY FAMILY. I am who I am because of them. Had they not always fought me so strongly and tried to make me someone else The Art of Being would have never been born. Everything does happen for a reason in my world. With my play I invested my money so I could allow others and myself the gift of individuality because my whole life I had been forced into a box. Something I shared with my local community in hopes of allowing them the ability to express their individuality and this led to my award from Toyota/Glamour, the tour and spreading the message. All because of the intent behind it and because I was following MY HEART!

It's not my family's fault. People are what they know and when society sells conforming and becoming their ideals so well what can we expect of the human race. I figured out I don't have to do anything but follow my heart no matter the opposition. I am blessed with awareness. We all are but again it's up to us to choose to follow our heart and the signs or not. Thanks to my journey with my family and other people in my life I have learned who I am and what I am capable of while all along learning that all I need to have is God and the universe on my side. Emerson was quoted as saying, "If I have lost confidence in myself I have the universe against me." I strongly agree. Do not let ANYONE take your truth from you. TRUST YOURSELF AND HAVE CONFIDENCE IN THE FACT THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE AND WHAT YOU CAN DO NO ONE ELSE CAN!

Because of that lesson I lived what I did in Rome!!! When I couldn't get financing for my film I put it on my credit cards and met the deadline leaving the rest up to the universe and look where I ended up! Befriending my favorite author. We have a strong bond because we have been through a lot in the last year. I have always felt that because we are both warriors we connect the way we do regardless of how different we are or age. Remember I am a fatherless child and what better kind of father figure can I have than one who understands why I fight the way I do for what I believe in. Beliefs that can not be seen or understood by others but only felt in my heart and understood by me. We speak the same language. The language of the signs and I hope we can stay friends forever. Only time will tell. Here are a few shots of us in Rome at the after party shooting a video
on my flip. On a side note I introduced him to Jason Mraz and now he's tweeting about how great he thinks he is. I will have to ask if he has actually listened to his music and read his blog
, which I sent him back when he had reposted my blog about me and Paulo. The reason I ended up with a blog. ;-)




And it's a wrap. ;-)


This is a behind the scenes look at the journey en Route to Rome.


En Route to LA. These will show you that sometimes we are re routed and what we thought would happen doesn't yet again teaching me that TRUST is crucial.


I communicate with God and the universe in a lot of ways and one of them is this, my horoscope. I hear you. ;-)
Tuesday, Nov 3rd, 2009 -- You may feel as if you are being bounced around today by forces that are beyond your control. You could waste time and energy now by trying to take charge of your life, but it's wiser to soften your stance and let go of your agenda for a while. This does not mean you need to change your overall direction; just take the pressure off yourself for the day by trusting in the wisdom of the universe.

It's my horoscope for today and it's perfect timing. A reminder that when you follow the signs you have to surrender control and like it says in the end TRUST IN THE WISDOM OF THE UNIVERSE! If my memory serves me well these past few weeks in Rome are proof that I should soldier on about on my journey and leave the destination up to God and the universe. A journey which I wouldn't give back for anything in the world because it allows me the opportunity to find out who I truly am and what I am made of while allowing the universe to present moments that exceed my expectations. Moments like Magical Rome. What comes next? Only God and the universe know but if I have been paying attention I don't need to worry but just be ready to receive that which I deserve, that which we all deserve. When I was in therapy I used to write affirmations to myself all the time in my dressing room mirror. I took it up again. Take a look. It reads, "The abounding river of unconditional love and money is flowing into my life! I am open to receiving! The time is now!" I say it every morning with conviction! ;-)




May you find the courage and strength within you to allow your journey to guide you to a magnificent destination while remembering that it truly is about the journey....enduring it and trusting it! Oh it never hurts to EXPECT MIRACLES LIKE MAGICAL ROME!
The Vatican. Look at those skies!