2012 our END? An Entirely New Direction!

Today is my 2012 and my END is here. It is time to head in an Entirely New Direction. I've awaited this day like a young child awaits Santa full of hope yet anxious wondering if I may get a glimpse of this magical myth. ;-) My magic is being delivered by God through the universe at exactly 1:30pm today. It has been a moment four years in the making. A moment produced by me and my actions but conjured up by God and the universe. We are co creators of this journey and its experiences. I've found myself questioning everything about today and what led to it ever since seeing Clash of the Titans, twice, and Avatar three times. They have made me ponder so much and accept yet again that everything is subjective and none of us really know what is truly out there, if 2012 will or won't happen, and most of all that there are no guarantees.

All of these things make me realize that as hard as today may be in some aspects I am proud of everything I did that led to today's outcome. I lived, took leaps of faith, followed signs only I could understand, and most of all trusted in the wisdom of the universe and God's guidance through the signs. I wish I could tell you what today is about but it's about so many things it would take many blogs to make it make sense as a lot of factors contributed to me coming face to face with one of my biggest fears as I do today.

Clash of Titans and Avatar made me realize we all should follow what feels right to us, our passion, our hearts. Everything is subjective and perceived through your eyes based on your experience, I am not right nor are you. We are simply honoring ourselves and when we do we are able to forge ahead as what feel like insurmountable challenges arrive. While these films had antagonists presented in a very clear way sometimes what can seem like an antagonist is something that is there to help you along the way and show you exactly what you are made of, even if their presence in your story is hard to take. Which leads me to this. I believe in choice more than anything in the world! I believe how we choose to see things attracts just that and creates our reality. I co-created today in a lot of ways. That is the only danger in choice, that we attract what we believe, so my only hope is that you believe you deserve a blessed life and attract it.

As I think about the approaching 2012, will it happen or won't it, all I can think of is no one knows but here's what I do know. I know that if it does happen I am glad I am standing where I will be today and at the same time I don't wish where I will be standing today upon anyone. My journey however has taught me that everywhere it takes me is for a reason and leading me somewhere beyond my imagination and that is why I believe life to be magical. A magical beautiful mess with so much out of our control. If 2012 does come to be I feel that all the planet would be doing is responding like you or I would if someone pulled our hair or kicked us repeatedly with no remorse. You would, or least I know I would, eventually respond. As much as we'd all like to think we'd respond with love repeatedly I honestly think there would come a moment when you would have enough. I feel like our Mother Earth welcomed us with loving arms when we came into existence because it indeed loves us! I also believe we need to show more respect and love back!

I don't believe natural disasters, as highlighted in 2012- which I did not see, are a punishment from the Gods (Clash of Titans), Ewa (Avatar), Universe, or God etc. I believe the planet existed with restrictions and we thought ourselves able to ignore those restrictions because our minds combined with our egos believed we could figure it out and outsmart it. That magic we had as children that allowed us to believe in endless possibilities and their magic was replaced with arrogance and ignorance. To me nature is nature and it has a way of being which we have failed and continue to fail to respect so more repeatedly reactions are triggered. Earthquakes, tsunamis, volcano eruptions, etc. You name it. It's trying to adjust to being overpopulated, unappreciated, and abused. Think about it. If people threw trash on you, tried to build on you in ares you weren't meant to be built on, and borrowed some of your organs hoping that you would still function you too would respond in order to try to restore order to your being.

Am I scared and do I believe 2012 is the END? Yes I do believe the approach of 2012 is the end! An opportunity to embrace an Entirely New Direction that is!!! That's what today is for me. An end that is leading to a new beginning. I was given all the warning signs that this day was approaching and now I embrace it, will close my eyes at 1:30pm, and open them to embrace my Entirely New Direction which will lead to a new beginning. The truth is NONE of us know what will happen in 2012. Neither spiritual beings as I and others are labeled, nor scientists, religion leaders, presidents or know it alls ;-) know what will happen. The truth for me is that the only certainty is uncertainty which leads to the only constant thing being change. Keyword CHANGE! If all of us together change and work to coexist and respect our beautiful planet we call home I believe we can make 2012 about an Entirely New Direction and new beginning! All of these possibilities along with the fact that I am very aware that I am dying everyday make today exactly as it should be.

Like Avatar and Clash of the Titans I believe in something greater than us, which I have no problem calling God. I am fine with not only calling my belief God but also believing in something so magical which I can not see but which time and time again in my journey has proven to me its existence because as an adult I made a choice to redefine what God meant to me. This meant throwing out anything negative, guilt ridden, and that had to do with punishment. Like the lead characters in all those wonderful films I am making a choice to stand for something and that is what today is about. I am standing for the dreamers, believers, caretakers of the planet and everything on it and all who have been told something is impossible. While on the journey that led here I was shown that life happens on life's terms and that is what makes it a beautiful mess. No matter how messy it gets being here to experience the mess for me is beautiful!!! Today like everyday God is here with me to carry me through this into something more amazing by giving me the courage to let go of what I wish was and live what is.

Today I will face something I never believed I would face and certainly not what I wish was. But at 1:30pm pst the end arrives and a new beginning commences. My choices in the past four years along with life on life's terms are the beautiful mess that today is composed of. Four years of challenges, struggles but most of all beautiful blessings! I choose to believe that everything is as it should be and that today is unfolding for my best interest in the long run. As I close this chapter of my life story I can't wait to see what God and the universe are conspiring to bring into my life!!! Bev, Danielle V., and Mary Queen thank you for standing by me not only today but through the past four years that led me here.

My only hope for you is that like me you see the warnings mother nature is sending and live not only for you but for others and be concerned not only with where it will lead but also with how it will affect everyone and everything along the way. Every action has a consequence I hope your actions lead you to consequences that make you proud to be who you are! No matter where your journey leads if you honor yourself you will encounter challenges that produce not only character but also pain and what that pain arrives remember it isn't optional as it is part of being human but suffering is. I had made a choice not to suffer life is too beautiful for that.

I read not too long ago that the real test comes when you loose and I am finding that out today. Although I really don't believe in loss or failure. ;-) I'll leave you with what my therapist told me in 2005 right before I summoned the courage to produce my play and accept it was time to END the life I believed I deserved so I could live my way into a new beginning. "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly." It's time to leave the icky cocoon spread my wings and fly in an Entirely New Direction!!!

This is for you God. Thank you for raising me up to walk on stormy seas! "I am strong when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be!" You more than anyone know why I did what I did. I love you!
Love your daughter, Adri