Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Literally!

I have to start off my day with my early morning hike because it is up at Runyon where I get in touch with all that I believe in and where I reaffirm all my beliefs as I walk through an amazing place full of ladybugs,(one which I picked up today and watched for a while until she flew away), butterflies, trees (whose heights make me realize how small yet important I am), and of course people. Today I decided I would say good morning to everyone. It's funny because right away it was obvious I wasn't walking town lake back home in Austin where everyone says hi to everyone. I was saying good morning while being tempted to say goedemorgen so I can practice my Dutch but if good morning caused some people to look at me like what?, I can only imagine what Goedemorgen would have done. I did it because I think it's important we acknowledge eachother. What I had no clue was how the universe would be acknowledging me.

You see as I was making my way up my hike I was thinking about so many things and conversing with God about it. I was thinking how four years ago I started this journey of my production company and not only was I grateful for all I've lived but I was expressing gratitude for how tremendously my faith has grown and how much more calm I am overall because well faith will do that to you. Knowing God and the universe are working with you and for you just takes you to a whole other place and allows you to live as this says below:


Living this way in love and trust of the God and the universe's wisdom allows me to see the signs. I have a lot of deadlines/meetings this week. They all came at once for UNICEF, my latest film, and another really big personal one. So I've been telling myself all week first things first no matter what time I make it up to that hike I must because in order for me to function I need to take care of me first. I must admit something that I hope puts a smile on your face. I've developed a massive crush on Hugh Laurie and right now would be a good time to clarify I am crushing on him not House. I think if I was crushing on House I'd take myself over to a therapist instead of writing this. ;-) Anyway last night I stayed up you tubing him which is why I stressed to myself that no matter when I started my day it was most important I start with my hike. I did find this which only made me like him more, with all respect to his wife and family. ;-)


I can't wait to tell my sister because I love when she says, "You get more and more realistic everyday." The funny thing is I actually like it more when it becomes a reality and she sees it for herself. Whatever it is I told her would happen that is. In this case nothing cause he's a married man and it's a harmless crush. See what happens when you're single for two years! ;-) Back to the sign that came my way today. As I was making my way up I was conversing with God about everything but especially the last four years and as I spoke of having gratitude for being able to face what I have and walk through it to the other side I had a vision of Jesus carrying me when I couldn't walk anymore and then it turned into a colorful vision just like the ones in the Lovely Bones trailer where the in between is beautiful and breathtaking. At that moment I remember thinking I wish I could paint what I see. I told God that I knew a lot laid before me in the coming days, some things the universe has asked me to deal with that I'd rather not but once again I told God that as usual I had all my trust in them and that as far as UNICEF went I knew that they knew our intention so they would pull through even if it was at 11:59pm on the 14th. The 15th is our deadline with headquarters.

As life has shown me miracles happen when you least expect them and when they do be ready. I kept hearing "be ready for what lies ahead for now you face the storm but what will unfold once you go through it you will be ready for and have been prepared exactly for this moment" and then it happened. While I was having this conversation I was looking at how beautiful the cloud pattern was today. AMAZING to be exact and tears started to roll down my face for in that moment I felt so in touch with everything I believe in, so guided and taken care of. While I stared at the clouds and into the sky it appeared, a small patch of the clouds in bright colors like a rainbow in the shape of an angel. At first I thought I was seeing things but as I stood there it's brightness made it clear that it was there. I believe that not only was I not seeing things but God was saying I hear you in an amazing way! It was my light at the end of the tunnel, literally!!! I wanted to run and ask others if they saw it and lamented that I didn't have my camera. Then I was reminded of the biggest lesson my life has taught me in the last four years. What is most important is what I see and what I perceive not what anyone else sees or perceives because it is after all my interpretation of things that has manifested the life I lead.

Now I sit here in my home office back in the storm and I want it to be over with, all the hard work. I must confess just for today I want to not have to face all I am facing but then I am reminded of all I have faced in the last four years (in life for that matter) and what it lead to because I faced it, embraced it, and went through it and it makes me accept what I have to do now and be present in the now. While reminding myself that I am not in control of the outcome but I will work hard through everything life sends me to make it to what God and the universe have reserved for me, for UNICEF, for my next film, for humanity, and for the unconditional love I know I deserve and am receiving this year. I trust in God's timing for that too for I will not be with someone who wants to stand in front of me or behind me for that matter I want someone who will Stand by me
, what a lovely example the couple in that video is of what accepting someone just as they are and bringing out the best in them can produce. I am deserving of that and while I may face my current storm alone it won't be like that forever because the one thing that is certain is CHANGE. I am betting on God, the universe and the winds of change to bring me the kind of LOVE only time, patience, growth and faith can produce.

I leave you with this. Everytime I am tired and want to give in I watch Elizabeth the Golden Age. I think of all she had to face in her time and I realize how grateful I am to face what I do in this day and age. When anyone shakes their fist at me trying to control me or a situation I know it's fear knocking at my door so I let faith answer. May your faith lead you to your light at the end of the tunnel and remember no one has to see it but you!