The blessings of an Unforgettable LOVE.

It's funny to watch the world go crazy for LOVE this week. My hope is that the world would go crazy for LOVE year around after all LOVE makes the world go round. No matter what kind of love it is, from my mom or my sister or my friends, I am always grateful to receive it! However in this media driven world they seem to advertise only ONE LOVE. The one between a couple. Sadly this kind of advertising makes some people so lonely this time of year. Not I for life has taught me a few things. One being that no love is ever going to be able to accomplish what love for oneself can. It is that kind of love that allows you to have the courage to not put yourself in a relationship because of a society given deadline, because the loneliness is too much or worse yet because you need a financial partner in crime. I have that partner and if you know me you know me well enough to know I prefer to partner with God, in everything I do actually.

This is not to say that I don't long to be in a relationship because I do. Although this time of year reminds me that yet again I am not it has also sparked immense gratitude for all I have lived in the love department. It turns out that the one man I remember the most and am grateful for the most is the one the universe thought was not a good idea we end up together. It's funny this soul mate thing. A thing I happen to believe in and also a thing I believe doesn't necessarily mean there is only one in this lifetime or that you will end up with them. I am starting to realize as time goes by and I live more that there can be more than one and that the one who I can respect the most and grow with the most is the one I long to be with. The one who will respect me and allow me to grow to by encouraging me, which is why one man comes to mind right now.

It is not the man who broke up with me two days before Valentine's cancelling our Santa Barbara trip two years ago and catapulting me into the most magical adventure ever with Paulo Coelho
. Nope not him. Actually I was confessing to a friend the other day how I felt bad that when I think of him I feel nothing and she reminded me that him and I were worlds apart and it was always apparent. Then I recalled that when I went to produce my film he was very discouraging and suggested I hire someone to produce it because I couldn't do it. Then I recalled how the last time I saw him he told me my beliefs worried him and he tried to belittle me. I say tried because obviously his view of the world and me do not define me, I define me. All of this is not because he is a bad man, it's because he's an insecure man acting out of fear and he needs love so till this day I turn him over to God and ask that he find the love he needs to be able to love others without trying to stun their growth. However because of where he was in life when we were together I don't feel for him the way I do for the one man I will always remember. We all have those. Someone who left such a beautiful impact in my heart of our friendship that you want to remember it.

Well I can honestly say I don't think of him much these days because after two beautiful years of a friendship in which he told me a little too late for my taste that he had a girlfriend things ended not so great. As we all know sometimes human emotions can overtake us and make us say things we don't mean. We ended our friendship with what I hope were words neither one of us meant. At least I know I didn't. Recently he wrote me requesting that I not use his name in my blog. He told me I could write anything I wanted but to please not use his name. My ego was amused and wanted to write back, "thanks for your permission but I know I can write whatever I want", luckily my soul/essence/true being wrote back and apologized for I had sincerely not realized I used his name or that his significant other referred to him as Estupido as well. I am kidding. I have to joke it's who I am. ;-) I then proceeded to look for his name in my blog and delete it. I had used it and I honestly did feel bad. The irony was I hadn't said anything bad but either way I respected his desire to remain unknown and still do which why I will refer to him as Peter Pan. Here we are the day we met on the set. As you can see I got him to fall for me with my magical powers. He said not to mention his name but he didn't say not to post pictures.




Okay all jokes aside here is why Peter Pan will forever hold a place in my heart. Without getting too personal I will tell you that my dad left when I was seven and I went on to choose men who would leave and of course I would create scenarios for them to leave. It was familiar and what I knew. After all we are what we know and we do as we see. After four years of therapy I realized things could be so different. That I had choices and that I could choose well if I realized what I deserved. Getting to a place where I realized what I deserved was and is a long road but trust me when you reach the destination you will be glad you didn't take any short cuts. You will have learned how to be love to yourself. Peter Pan was the first man I met after learning all this and he definitely was the first man to believe in me and my work. He not only told me, he showed me by coming to see the debut of my first production ever. We had a connection unlike any other I had ever known. Allies in a crazy business. For that no matter what anyone thinks I will always be grateful. He taught me of the possibilities and of what I deserve. He showed me for the first time in my life what it is like to be heard and seen.

Most would think I would be bitter I didn't get to have that permanently but I am not. I am thrilled I got to know that kind of love. Most of all I work with one sole partner in crime who I know holds my best interest at heart always, God. I am certain God's plan for me and my future family is far more extraordinary than I can imagine and what I have lived thus far. In my humble opinion based on observation of my life, it simply gets better every time after every lesson. Not only LOVE but everything I do becomes more powerful and more magical. So Peter Pan showed me the way as best as he could as long as he was meant to and left me with the understanding that I am worthy of man who longs to be with me, takes me just as I am, supports me, and allows me to grow even if he doesn't understand. Most of all he taught me to believe that unconditional love is possible therefore he is an unforgettable love.

So this week as you are bombarded with images of what you should have to be in love remember things don't represent LOVE. On the contrary if someone can stand with you in the midst of the flames the fire of the challenges of life produce and come out on the other side still holding your hand than count yourself blessed because you know LOVE. No matter who that person is. Recently I have been reminded the importance of feeling the LOVE from my mother through a lesson I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy (although I don't have one) but realized I needed that lesson to know that LOVE. I feel like LOVE can come in so many ways. Through eye contact with a complete stranger that sends chills up your spine, words that came at the exact moment you needed to hear them from someone who had no knowledge of your need, a stunning sunset, a child's smile, a baby's laugh, a flower's beauty and smell, a friend's shoulder to lean on, and you taking the time out of your life to read this. To me that is LOVE.

LOVE truly is all around if you open every part of your being you will feel it, see it, and welcome it. I've learned that to allow it in I must first love myself unconditionally as best as I can. Most of all I've learned that LOVE, true unconditional LOVE is FORGIVENESS not only for others but most of all for YOURSELF. Happy love yourself day and let's make it a happy love yourself year! And remember if a love you know is coming to an END it is simply an opportunity for an ENTIRELY NEW DIRECTION, A NEW BEGINNING. I LOVE YOU MERCEDES GARZA AND WELCOME YOUR NEW BEGINNING!!!