Allowing my friends to lead the way home.

I once read a quote that stayed with me, "Surround yourself with people who uplift you." I can't remember where or who said it but I took it to heart. I am feeling okay today but yesterday and the day before were very good days. I know it's a one day at a time thing for me and I am blessed to have had the ability to surround myself with people who not only uplift me but let me be. It is in going through challenges, like loosing a friend and my father in three months, that you realize what people around you are made of. Challenges like these show people's true characters and I have chosen well. After all I believe seeing how a person handles these kind of life on life terms situations is important.

I've been getting by not only because of my love for life and the mystery of existence but because on days when I don't feel one hundred percent me my friends are there. Lately I've been asking them all to take a picture with me and uploading it to facebook so it wouldn't give away what I was actually doing. ;-) A lot of my time these days is spent online listening to country music and other music but mostly country so I guess you could say I miss Texas and Country Strong reminded me of home. This got me thinking about the two homes I love. The one I have here which my friends have helped make feel like home and the one I was born into back in Texas. I am a part of both worlds and sometimes torn between them but recent events have shown me that I need them both.

I am being called back to Texas and while I have known I am going home to film my current project for a while recent circumstances keep showing me that everything is happening as it should and yet again leading me down the path that was specifically paved for me. HOME. Home is where the heart is and my heart is split between Austin and Los Angeles. Has been for a while now and thanks to what I do I can be a part of both of them. But what I am seeing clearly now is how everything that is happening in my life is actually happening in correlation with my film. Too many similarities to deny that life is imitating art. So of course it hits me. I am being prepared for one of the most challenging jobs of my life. Some people invest money in schools to learn how to act or as I see it feel. Well being that life has been quite challenging for me I can clearly see now that it is simply preparing me to be the best I can be at what I do. It is my teacher of my art. After all aren't we all on screen becoming someone who has LIVED what we are portraying? So all I am LIVING is simply preparation for my trip home to become Esperanza.

The journey through these current circumstances would not be possible without my friends. It simply wouldn't. They come over and listen to me. Take walks with me. Meet me at coffeehouses and make me laugh when it seems impossible to do so. Okay and make me work although Lisa and Randy don't really make me work. They allow me to be my type A self and make myself work as they know what it means to me these days. It is beyond beautiful to have awareness this time around. Last time I went through some pretty deep stuff I didn't have the awareness to understand what the school of life was helping me achieve which I came to see in time. Now I do. So everyday I get up see how I feel and go with the flow of the universe trusting that when the time is right we will all be headed back to my home to bring this beautiful dream I have been working on since July of 2009 to LIFE.

While it may appear like the world is trying to break me I know and most of all trust that is not the case at all. I don't have psychic abilities but I do have the awareness to see, even if it's not just with my eyes, that life is simply guiding me to where I belong, where I have always belonged, HOME. Austin I am a coming and what better way to have the road lead back home then for my passion. I will be in the city that gives me great peace and inspires me bringing my passion to life. That is a great gift I am grateful for even if the road there was not what I envisioned at all. I know that when I am ready, my expectations will be surpassed by my reality and for the patience to see that day come I am grateful. Most of all I am grateful for my friends who have walked me home by holding my hand in the most difficult of times. Can't wait to share in the light this darkness is giving way to with them! "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly."


Here they are in no particular order but simply living with me these past three weeks. "Friends are God's way of taking care of you." I am very taken care of!
With Eric (aka Smooth-E) at one of my favorite cafes in LA.

A brunch with Nicole turned into an impromptu party of four.

With Jake catching Eric's show and getting some dinner.

Jerry my dance teacher lets me dance and dance and dance slowly allowing my soul come back to life.

Slowly getting my mojo back. ;-)

With my Experimental Witch mom. She came over to just listen.

Enjoying the beautiful weekend in LA with Nicole.

Thanks to this coconut (Paul) Nicole, Hayley and I lounged by the pool.

These two people are my sunshine! Lisa and Lawrence. Hee hee. Michael to you. Wearing one of his designs for kicks on our way to an impromptu dinner.

Lots of coffeehouses have been visited these past few weeks. This is Pamela lending her ears to me.

Lastly a woman whose name could not be more fitting meeting me for coffee and lending her ears as well, Mary Queen ANGEL. ;-)

If you have just one friend like any of these you are truly blessed. The journey continues and for the ability to be here to walk on I am grateful.