2009 began as all years do for me now, in complete awareness of being in the unknown as I was being prepared for the what next and living my way into it. As an actor/producer I never know what is going to happen next. I am very aware of that, which is why I am a big believer in signs. I consider the signs to be subtle yet poignant and for me come at the right moment and what APPEARS to be out of nowhere. You know that moment when you go, “huh what a coincidence I was just thinking about ________ and here it is.” Oh did I mention I don’t believe in coincidences? ;-)The most important thing for me about the signs is having the courage to follow them. So after two weeks with my family in Texas I ran back, excuse me I came back to Los Angeles full of hope for what 2009 would bring me.
It had been four months since I had won Coelho’s competition and a few since my dinner in Europe with him so the door to that experience had closed. Once again I was in the dark hallway in the stillness of the unknown waiting to open the door to the what next when the universe prompted me. I will say very openly that as an actor for hire the commercial world has always been a struggle for me. I am not big on SELLING people the idea that they can be better or worthy by acquiring things and in the process tricking them into believing that is where self esteem and worth lies. However like you I have to make a living and I consider the commercial world my way of taking that money and using it to do what I am passionate about aka The Art of Being and The Experimental Witch. Did I mention three of my last five commercials did not air and UNICEF I did free of charge so that left me with residuals from just one commercial in the past three years? We make our money based on how much a commercial airs. So yes I RISKED EVERYTHING and moved forward with the tour of my play and my film and in the end had big payoffs. Maybe not financially...yet! But trust me what following my passion gave me no amount of money could give me!!! NONE! If you want proof of the universe knowing and being in the details here’s one for you.
With the Toyota Moving Forward Award I was presented by Glamour Magazine I won a 2007Toyota Camry Hybrid.
Pretty picture right? Well here’s what you don’t know and what lies behind what our eyes see. The week I paid off my Jeep Cherokee it broke down. It wouldn’t stop shaking uncontrollably and the dealer couldn’t figure out what was wrong so they advised me to move on. Really?! With what money exactly? I just spent over $12,000 on a car. So pissed at the circumstance I leased a Jetta. I owned that Jetta for a lot less than its lease term because the universe not only conspired to give me a new car with the award but I received a car that lined up with my beliefs, a hybrid.
So do you see how the universe was paying me back for my faith? Yes money is a currency I need to buy things but I truly don’t want things and the universe knows that too because it knows me like no one knows me. Like I’ve told Shari, you can cheat others and yourself but you can’t cheat the universe, it knows.
So that money I’ve invested into my productions is coming back. Fairly soon actually that’s where the signs are pointing but I had to walk through all I have to get to where I am and where I am going. It’s just how God and the universe wanted it and it's how I came to be who I am today. My journey I consider a HUGE BLESSING! Challenges and all. My only hope is that my mom wouldn’t have taken things as personal as she did. All I’ve endured has pained her more than I wanted it to and I am sorry my threshold for pain aka living in the unknown and faith have caused her and my family worry and sadness. Deep down inside though my biggest HOPE is that it opened them up to the endless possibilities simply by witnessing what became my reality because of my faith. We truly are what we believe we are and accomplish what we believe we can. MAKE SURE YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOUR GUT TELLS YOU TO AND NOT WHAT I, OTHERS, OR SOCIETY TELLS YOU TO. BELIEVE WHAT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU IN THE CENTER OF YOUR BEING AND IT WILL PAY OFF I PROMISE!
So here I was starting off 2009 in even more faith and trust based on all I had seen and not seen. Not seen you ask? Well it’s like Emerson said, “All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.” That sums my beliefs up pretty well! So as people were asking what now Adriana? How do you top an award with a car and winning your favorite author’s film competition? All I was thinking was you don’t! You just continue to believe in the beauty of what the unknown CAN CONTINUE TO BRING TO LIFE. They only certainty I had was that only God and the Universe knew and be ready. At least I was ready because when my agent called in February to tell me I had an audition for UNICEF I clearly saw God and the Universe's magic. CLEARLY!!! Thirteen years of auditioning for commercials and NEVER had I had such an opportunity but after years of being a UNICEF supporter and donor, especially at Halloween when I carry my trick or treat box, it was time. Time to have my beliefs line up with my work in an area I never thought possible but the Universe held the possibilities open for me EVEN when I was temporarily unable to.
I gave it my all at my audition where everything was left up to my imagination and taking myself to a place where I couldn’t give my child its most desired and deserved need, water. Children have always held a very special place in my heart and imaging myself not being able to give a baby what EVERYONE deserves to have was hard and easy. Hard because I am in disbelief that in this day and age water is a privilege for some. WHAT?!!!! Easy because I would definitely feel the desperation of the situation take over me were I ever in it. Can you believe people are facing this scenario even as I type this? Again WHAT?!!!! But UNICEF'S Tap Project
is helping change that. As I was headed to my callback I received a call from the producer asking if I was on my way. Of course! She said she was rooting for me and I was her favorite. Again I saw God and the universe clearly.
There I was once more but this time being watched by the director, Alejandro Ortiz
the creative behind the concept and the executive producer. In a tiny room with a throw cushion as my child, my imagination and God guiding me I became a mother in desperate search of water for her baby. It was the quickest audition I ever booked. Within two hours I got the call saying I had the job. I can’t recall any other time when I had booked a job where I had been this excited and grateful. Did I confuse you because I am not getting paid so what am I grateful for exactly? I am grateful that once again my belief in God and the universe guiding me was reaffirmed! That my trust in the process and faith in the unknown grew yet again. But most of all that my patience for living in the unknown and letting go of control, not an easy thing and something acquired after years of driving myself crazy willing life and being under the illusion of control, had brought to life once again a HUGE blessing and a beautiful reality.
Other blessings have followed since and I am grateful for all of 2009 has brought me. My third appearance in GLAMOUR Magazine came this year as well and it included a FABULOUS paid for trip to NY for the photo shoot. Huge blessing since travel these days for me is scarce. Here's the final product.
My sister’s second adopted son, Joaquin, became part of the Garza Ruiz Cortazar clan a few weeks ago. Here he is in Monterrey, NL Mexico being held by his new mom and my beautiful sister Veronica. Next to her is her husband and on her other side is my sister Ivonne, my brother Enrique, and my niece Marifer.
God be with this child. ;-) Just kidding we may all be very different but it is those differences that make us a great family to be a part of and for that I am eternally grateful! I am the youngest of seven and then throw in my mom, step dad, his family, my brother’s and sister’s dad and his family and well you’ve got quite a diverse group, which I will always be blessed to be a part of.
This year also brought the news of The Experimental Witch
not being able to make the Sundance deadline because some of the winners did not send in the contract in on time, followed by not being accepted into Cannes and finally getting our world premiere at the Rome Film Festival. Third times a charm! At least for me. It took me three tries to win a pageant back in the day. Good old Texas habits. ;-) Oh and guess what I made it to Cannes after all. My commercial for Unicef’s Tap Project
was one of 10 finalists in the fundraising category from over 4000 entries at the Cannes Lions Awards
in June. On September 18, 2009, the commercial won its first award
. Do you see how the universe pays me back? With moments that take my breath away! Glad I listened to myself and what God was whispering in 2006, “DO WHAT YOU LOVE THE MONEY WILL FOLLOW.” Okay waiting on the money part and although it will make SOME things easier it will never be able to do what my experiences have done. Like this amazing experience!
The list of blessings truly is endless and I could go on forever but I do want you to get back to your life. Hopefully I haven’t lost you yet like I did my friend Eric
He went to Jason’s blog to see my blog and then said, “I only got half way through your blog I can’t do it all in one sitting.” No offense taken it’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Another blessing of 2009 is having the ability to continue to not take things personally always remembering that people see the world as they are not as it is. And Eric, he is actually another blessing of 2009 who has reminded me of what it's like to laugh so hard you almost pee your pants. I said almost people! Last time I peed my pants I was like twenty-five and in church with my mom. Who knew church could be so funny? Of course we left early. True story. When my mom lets go she is such a riot even in what she considers the house of the one, the lord, the almighty and to some the non-existent. Oh our family has an atheist and my idea of God has a sense of humor. It really wanted to mess with my mom and that is a blessing too. We ALL need to grow in this short but beautiful life!
Count your blessings even the ones that annoy you because how would we grow without a family or society constantly trying to make us something we aren’t? How would we know to grow in faith, love, compassion, hope, courage, strength, patience and all those great things that make life so worth living if we weren’t tested in life by challenges. You don’t know faith because everything is handed to you. You know faith because somethings have not been handed to you WHEN YOU WANTED IT but you moved forward trusting that when the time was right you would be given all you needed no matter what things looked like. Having the ability to live life on life’s terms and accepting what is not what you wish was is such a blessing. Being able to read this right now is another and having gratitude for all you have well huge blessing. To top it all off for me I get to have a beautiful young woman in my life who is teaching me so much and preparing me for one of the greatest gifts life will give me, the ability to create life with someone I love and respect, soon. I see the signs. So Zoey our ever growing ever changing friendship that gives me a glimpse into my future with my own children is a HUGE blessing of 2009. I never knew my heart could love the way it does! Thank you for teaching me this kind of love.
I will bid you farewell by letting you in on a fresh new blessing that came after I wrote the blog, the universe is whispering its time and I...I AM READY. Roald Dahl was quoted as saying, “Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” More magic? Yes!!! I am up for the position of Los Angeles Ambassador for Unicef’s Tap Project!!!! Oh dear God and Universe thank you. I look forward to confirming my belief with you soon. So it will be UNICEF in NY then The Experimental Witch premiere in Rome
To you, no not you Paul,sorry that ship has sailed but thank you for your once amazing support. Your belief in me did what it had to when it had to. Being able to FINALLY
let you go is an amazing blessing I am eternally grateful for! May your film bring your work the recognition it deserves and may your new life be filled with love and happiness!
You...yes you! Don't doubt it I am talking to you and you know who you are. ;-) To you my soul mate, I read this today and thought of you, “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because your reality is better than your dreams.” I know soon you will be my reality so to you I say, life has been preparing me to be able to know and accept that I deserve what you have to offer, unconditional love, and I am a ready to add you to my list of blessings of 2009. You already are a blessing. Meet you when the planets align and both of us are open to SEEING the other. May you the reader be able to see all the blessings in your life and may you know and TRUST this, “You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you all your own!” Dellinger. Now go on and create your blessings using your UNIQUE magic! Sarah Forrester this is for you and me and anyone living their way into the answer through the unknown.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to be sure and say thank you for including me in this and again for the quote.
ReplyDeleteAmazing - I read the last two blogs and I commented on both feeling that I had definetly been drawn to hear your words. Now that feeling has definetly been confirmed. Tonight when I was in the kitchen I heard a man on TV reciting a quote..it was only in the background of what I was doing but I noted the last couple of words in what he said - I felt so compelled to find out what the quote was and after googling the last few words I got “All I have seen teaches me to trust the creator for all I have not seen.” of course by Ralph Waldo Emerson. Those words have shown up twice tonight. I believe this is no coincidence. I leave in a few weeks to go travelling on my own for the first time and there have been a few nerves...maybe this is the universe trying to tell me to trust in that which I cannot see...Kim :-)
ReplyDelete