We did it! We FREAKING did it!

Today was supposed to be the day we went live with the Bearing Fruit trailer version one. Sadly it did not happen because the website that is exclusively going to host our trailer has a longer procedure than we anticipated. That doesn't mean this took the feeling away from me that YES, WE FREAKING DID IT!!! I don't curse. Okay more like I rarely curse mostly because it doesn't come organically to me but also because I have nine stunning souls known as my niece and nephews and one precious angel named Zoey who I have chosen to be an example for and who are constantly on Facebook watching my every move. ;-) I don't ever feel the need to curse and especially not in front of them but I have to be honest when we I saw the rough cut of the trailer all I could think of was WE F****** DID IT! I did think that and it came out my mouth along with oh my F****** God. Forgive me father for I am human. I am kidding of course. My creator created me and therefore knows me and my sense of humor but you may not. ;-)

I seriously can not wait to go live online with our work. Some may see it and believe it was produced overnight, almost. Ten pre-production days, three shoot days and one week of post. Well overnight, rushed, quickly or any other word to describe this fruition is far from truth. It's more like two years and two months! Yup that is how long I have been at this. As a matter of fact our script reviser told me someone mentioned the project to her recently saying they were still wanting to be considered for it and commented about me still trying to Bear Fruit. ;-) I had said to Danielle recently that I would accept if this was not God's will for me and know to walk away but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. Even as I uttered those words I knew it wasn't going to be the case. She didn't think so either no matter what we saw at the time. For me a lot lies in the unseen which only your gut tells you of. One thing I did know for sure was how much my faith in God has and continues to grow.

John Rincon, the writer, and I met at Austin Java in July of 2009. I remember it like it was yesterday. He was rushing back to Austin from Corpus Christi for our meeting. We had spoken a few times and I was blown away by his concept so much that I was anxiously awaiting his arrival. This man held in his being a unique story idea that showcased Latinos in the lead roles with a story line that has never been done before. As a matter of fact the few industry friends who previewed the trailer were quick to mention that it had never been done before. We spoke and when I left I was clear on one thing, the crossing of our paths was a universal conspiracy under God's guidance. No coincidence! I asked him to please have a first draft of his screenplay to me by January of 2010. Of course after that all the logistics of optioning a screenplay took place with lawyers involved etc. and the journey began.

To be honest I lost count of drafts. I truly did. One of the biggest lessons working on something like this brings is that in order to bring it to fruition you have to learn the Art of Compromising. It does not mean that you should sit back and not speak your heart but for me at least it means learn which battles are most important and fight those. Like I told Randy, our director, last night "This is not about whose right or not. It's about what is creatively best for the film." I have to remind myself that because when you have the writer, the director and the producer collaborating as much as we do you will butt heads. The greatest thing is knowing when to LET GO! There are things I won't compromise on like morals, ethics, and values. All things that are very important for me to have be the foundation of this and any production I do. On and off set everyone is equal we all just happen to hold different job titles. Sometimes this can get me in trouble as people can try to take advantage. Being in a team has also taught me to speak up and stand my ground when something is blatantly not right. A situation that rarely happened with this current production.

We have all been blessed to have been chosen to bring Bearing Fruit to fruition and to choose it back. It has been quite the ride. Countless changes, casting sessions, a few directors, a few co-producers etc. and in the end one year after we started casting Randy, John and I were left standing. We've seen the Investors come and go. We've seen people get credit for something they didn't really do and we've seen egos fear appear. Yet we've managed to handle it all with grace. Well I'd like to think we have. At least I try to. I've made mistakes and learned from them. I've seen others make mistakes and learn from them. Most of all I've seen exactly what can be born of a faith so deep no one can understand it but me.

I know this is my calling. I know that my gut aka God compass guides me to where I am meant to be in this existence to better serve my purpose and humanity. This story will have people talking as it is far from black and white. It will hopefully open their minds and make them realize that we are no one to judge any one's choices. That we don't walk in someone else's shoes therefore could never truly know the why to their choices. I believe this story will do something that film featuring a minority cast rarely does. Tell a story that anyone of any ethnic background can identify with. It will make race, sexuality and any other label be the secondary story line. It is about humanity, its complexity and how everything no matter how harsh it may feel sometimes is definitely leading us somewhere and to our purpose. It's about one woman's journey to discover her voice. It's about a journey we all as humans endure. A realization that our voice counts and when we silence it we learn the biggest lessons of all.

The time has come to share with the world a possibility of what we can bear. If this is what we can do with one hundred and fifty dollars, ten days of pre-production, three days of shooting and one week of post, can you imagine what we can do with a budget?!! I am proud actually beyond proud of all of us. We did something that is rarely heard of. This morning for the first time I think ever I acknowledged myself for my accomplishment. Weird since its been six years almost since my indie production company launched and this is the first time I told myself You F****** did it!!! All of the sudden it came to me, "Be proud of yourself and your courage. Most of all of the miracle your faith created and of your ability to follow the signs!" I smiled because I can acknowledge others well but I am not one to say YOU ROCK but you know what I do and I F****** DID IT. I do rock not only for having faith in myself and the project but in the fact that all the angels I needed would fly in right on time and they did!!! Boy did they.

There was no contribution too small. Without everyone involved there would be no trailer. Maybe a flip video of me and Michael acting out the scenes while Randy directs us but definitely no trailer. ;-) So with that in mind I acknowledge EVERYONE involved in the Bearing Fruit Trailer shoot. Whether you referred me to someone or actively participated I THANK YOU!! I honor your ability to show up and be of service and provide us with your ART. From DP to Actors you gave us your talent free of charge all to help us keep the dream alive. YOU ARE MY ANGEL!!! There comes a moment when everything inside you tells you your life is about to change in the best of ways. In my case yet again! Your gut and the signs guide you through the unknown to the destination. I am about to arrive somewhere that will exceed my dreams. I know it. I just do. How do I know? I've done the work, learned my worth, and opened my heart to the endless possibilities most of all followed my heart guided by faith and love (God). As I head to my destination, which could have only been reached by these constant detours I endured including loss of loved ones and friendships ending, I acknowledge you. The man or woman who came into my life and guided me when I needed it most. You did this with me and there are no words to express my gratitude. Honestly all I can think of now is WE FUCKING DID IT! Victory dance time!!!